Shitter etiquette. Only on COSO 😂
@CherNohio: The term for it is "shitiquette".
@th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
Oh the visual right now 😂
@th3j35t3r here to say: this is illuminating to women. We just fight over mirror access, if that.
@LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
These are the RULES. It's always been that way. It's ancient and justified. 👍
@th3j35t3r I believe you! I hear from male teenage students about a code, for a lotta things I seriously don’t understand.
@th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio I’m the only female teacher on my floor. So I pop into the girls bathroom often. It’s mostly to let them know dont smoke weed cuz theres a teacher who shows up. But y’all talking about ish we totally do not encounter in the girls bathrooms.
@LaurelGreen Because cubicles. @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
@LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
Ma'm, with respect... YOU HAVEN'T LIVED! 😂
@th3j35t3r hahaha I’ll take that under advisement.
@th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
Only rule I have is avoiding the two holers. I don’t even wanna be next to someone else taking a shit. Nor do I want anyone next to me taking a shit. Nope.
@th3j35t3r and it drives an ice cream van.
@InvaderGzim Visual Aids! Now I’m always gonna wonder what’s going on in there!
@th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
@CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
There's only really maximum 1/2 available positions...
And sometimes not even that... 😊
@InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
If there are 5 urinals with three used where they left the proper gap of an empty one between each of the three and you walk in, then you pee in the sink.
@Kurtroedeger @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
Sometimes... You have to wonder...
Did a female architect set the spacing between urinals? Or very small men? Or just trying to meet OSHA requirements with the least amount of billable sqft on the floor?
Why isn't there a minimum spacing defined? 4ft would be nice...
@InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
You definitely wanna be out of the splash zone of your neighbor. Its all about the square footage. Toilet fixtures have a minimum width allowed. Maybe petition the International Building Code to update the refs 😂😂
Bathroom counts are based on building code and occupancy rate. But if noone is using it, might as well remove it and spread them out.
@Kurtroedeger @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
But don't they have to design for maximum possible occupancy?
@InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
Yes., but aside from arenas, nobody ever hits that.
Story time;
I took Mrs to new kids reunion show at an arena and as expected, 90% women. I went to use the head and there was a line of women in the men's room all lined up at the stalls. A couple guys were standing there, not sure what to do. #kurthasnoshame so I just walked up to the urinals. Finish, turn around, and 20 women are staring at me. Like WTF! How rude! No staring!
@Kurtroedeger Try to understand. A gorgeous humk had just walked into the room and unzipped his pants. Of *course* they were staring! @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
@stueytheround @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
I'm horrible at remembering my fly. There's half a chance it was down before I walked in. This is why #nopantsbestpants
I think it was the leg shake when I finished that confused them. But major faux pas. You stare at the floor, the ceiling, and when youre at the urinal the wall. Never at a person. No eye contact allowed in the men's room. Not even with yourself in the mirror.
@Kurtroedeger @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
Maybe outlaw these while they are at it
@damselfly59 @Kurtroedeger @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist ok thats just wrong.
@LaurelGreen @damselfly59 @Kurtroedeger @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist Come on don't be shy gather round.
@damselfly59 @InvaderGzim @CherNohio @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist
Scoot them closer so you can hold hands as you bear down
@InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
straight men and their fear of standing too close or being "seen" when peeing will never not amuse me.
@sfleetucker My fear is that they'll look and *still* not see 🤣 
@InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
@InvaderGzim Let's be real. Most men are less afraid that the man next to them might be gay, and far more worried about his dick being too small and being laughed at!
@sfleetucker @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
@sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio SAME! GIRLS, women have NO hesitation about peeing in front of one another. 💩 ng is different. But peeing? Nope. My generation squatted on car bumpers, it was totally normal.
@LaurelGreen @sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
And, synchronized kegel pees are funny as hell 😂
@CherNohio @sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist and we did that! It was normal! 🤣
@LaurelGreen @sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
As someone who has spent more time living as a wild animal than as a human, I would like to say I am appalled at human bathroom habits.
I will shit in front of a bear, but close the door between me and a human.
@AskTheDevil True! We hikers know exactly what is protocol. Just check the type of leaf first before wiping!
@LaurelGreen @sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
@CherNohio @LaurelGreen @sfleetucker @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
It is important. Especially if you live in Australia.
@AskTheDevil @CherNohio @LaurelGreen @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist Do not wipe with gympie-gympie leaves.
@sfleetucker @AskTheDevil @CherNohio @LaurelGreen @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
And that old Boy Scout warning certainly comes into play: "Leaves of three, let it be."
@BenA @sfleetucker @CherNohio @LaurelGreen @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
Ha ha! I'm immune to poison ivy!
Bow to my genetic superior... AUGH! pollen! My sinuses are melting!
Also immune to poison ivy. Cats have been known to send me to the ER though. Seems like cats are easier to avoid than pollen so you have my sympathies.
@Tarnagh Anyone who gets poison ivy has mine! Itchy-poo!
I sympathize with them. My kids are *not* immune, sadly, and we coped with that a couple times when they were little.
I never did this to the kids, but I'm also that asshole that will yank a poison ivy plant out of the ground and say "See this? It's poison ivy. Don't touch it!"
Freaked MIL out when we were clearing her yard & setting up tents, day before a party. Poison ivy all over, I'm ripping it out with bare hands. I still wash after so I don't pass the oil to others.
@AskTheDevil I was immune to poison ivy for decades, up until I wasn’t. @BenA @sfleetucker @CherNohio @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
@LaurelGreen @BenA @sfleetucker @CherNohio @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist I still treat it with some respect, just in case.
I seem to recall a story about a certain Baldur and some mistletoe. I will not taunt poison ivy.
@AskTheDevil @LaurelGreen @BenA @CherNohio @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
A-Freya-ed of the consequences?
@sfleetuckerIbsee what u did there, 🤣❤️ @AskTheDevil @BenA @CherNohio @InvaderGzim @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist
@grayman @th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
Sometimes "Fuck No!!" escapes you... when someone asks you to keep their trajectory.
@th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
I learned this in a graduate level course on teaching social skills to kids with autism.
Previously, I had no idea.
Stage Fright is an issue that must be dealt with.
@th3j35t3r @LaurelGreen @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
One more thing about urinal etiquette:
"Wait for the shake".
@LaurelGreen @th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio
Fwiw, I definitely get salty if there's a whole bathroom of stalls open and somebody picks the one right next to mine. 😱
@th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio Come on, here you can be butt to butt or sword fight with your dicks, I guess.
@th3j35t3r @thedisasterautist @CherNohio And never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever strike up a conversation with a stranger who is trying to use a urinal.
@thedisasterautist @CherNohio
The only thing more egregious than knocking on a locked shitter door is zip-lobbing in a urinal directly next to an occupied one.
Especially when there's a row of three and the other guy is on the far end.
Either leave a gap or fucking wait, or lock yourself in a trap and drop your pants down to your ankles to piss like a pre-pubescent kid and wait for some anus-hat to come knocking.
BUT NEVER, EVER use a urinal directly adjacent to one being used.