Well, it's #CoSoAfterDark somewhere, so...
Folks, what's your favourite euphemism for any of the contents of our scanties?*
Yes, yes, I'm talking about our 🍆s, 🍑s, and 🍒s. Positive euphemisms preferred, rather than terms you'd hurl at someone in a fight, but I'm more curious about range and regional quirks.
(And if your favourite euphemism isn't "cash and prizes", why not? 😉)
Naughty bits is such a good one, because the real "naughtiness" happens in one's noggin, but if I called my brain a naughty bit, I'd get weird looks, so... no. 🙃
Oh so good! Yes the brain is the naughtiest bit of all! :)
@ceorl Add a few extraneous polymers from mankind and “ presto” ! Oooh must got the wrong hat, Rock
@MLClark “yinz” (meaning all of you) and “run the sweeper” (for vacuum) and “n’that” (for etcetera) in Pittsburgh-ese.
@MLClark I must say, I totally misunderstood your question, lol.
Well, SOMEONE needed to keep their mind out of the gutter today, Bob! Thanks for your service! :)
🤣🤣🤣 I forgot that one! So good!
tadger(sometimes has connotations of the aforementioned member being small 
like)
Boaby
This lassie has more to say on names for members
😂😂
Justin bieber was a new one for me & im Scottish
😂 KNOB GOBLIN.
Now that's a whole vibe.
But tadger is CLASSSSIC. Love it. 👌 Thanks for the laughs!
@MLClark yeah knob goblin is a old classic 😂😂
Underused these days though lol
My favourite part is that it invites the best of activities, so why *not* plant that subtle mental hint with one's partner?
("Knob Goblin? Don't mind if aahh do!" 😅)
Right, lads! You know what to do. #BringItBack
@MLClark 😂😂 indeed
Under the pure moon light knob goblin strikes again
😂 Oh sh--aving cream, now it has a whole character backstory. This just got dangerous!
@MLClark 😂😂
The journey of knob goblin vol-1 coming soon
Please forgive me if I turn the pages of that volume verrrry carefully, and maybe with tweezers or a glove. 😂
@MLClark i knew where you were going with that as soon as i seen "pages" which jumped out at me
😂😂😂
I think 👇 😆
@MLClark
Family jewels
Mini-me
Mister happy
Meat and two veg
Lady garden
I presume you've noticed how few there are for the female genitals in comparison to the boys?
OHHHHH
"Meat and two veg" means something totally different here and some comments that have been made to me in the past are a whole lot clearer now. I used to just assume people were crazy and move on with my life but there were incidents relating to this phrase that I only now understand.
@janallmac It means a good, healthy meal obviously, but maybe it's peculiar to the UK as an euphemism.
@MLClark
Oh, no, the vulva-ful are just being a little more discreet, but we know all about our
Hoohas
Foo foos
Cha chas
Cookies
Honeypots
Vajayjays
Minges
Snatches
Fannies
Beavers (with pelts!)
Flowers
Muffs
Clamshells
Coochies
Pink tacos
Lady gardens
Love tunnels
Sword sheaths (okay, that's just the original meaning of "vagina")
And a personal favourite...
Penis fly traps 🙃
@MLClark 🤣🤣 I see why it's your favourite.
@MLClark
TootToot
can confirm, I was familiar with 85%+ of these lol @MLClark @stueytheround
@MLClark I have a couple that aren't on your list, but I'd prefer not to be too indelicate...and they are. @stueytheround
Can't be worse than when classic gay sex columnist Dan Savage once described a vulva as "a canned ham dropped from a great height"! 😂
@MLClark I've known girls call it their kebab.
Also once heard a girl in the toilet (night club. everybody just shared!) say to another "Come on Jackie! Wipe yer prune!"
@stueytheround @MLClark @Ironworker229
#dammitstuey when ever I visited my grandmother she always had a bottle of prune juice in the fridge.
@Kurtroedeger Oh hell! I hadn't even *considered* the thought of prune juice! I'm so sorry but also dying laughing! 🤣🤣🤣 @MLClark @Ironworker229
@stueytheround @MLClark @Ironworker229
As a kid, I loved juice. But my grandmother would never share her prune juice.
@Kurtroedeger Prune juice is medicine and by Jiminy it works, too! @MLClark @Ironworker229
@stueytheround @MLClark @Ironworker229
Well, the next time you're visiting the little man in the boat, I hope you think of my grandmother. Because now I'm pretty much guaranteed to 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Aww. Isn't it sweet that she had a crotch coach on the shitter? :) We should all be so lucky.
@MLClark @stueytheround @Ironworker229
Cooch coach could be the next big thing
@MLClark Oh, very well. In the interest of broadening your available vocab for writing development. The more good-natured of the 3 is:
"Clit canoe"
Less so:
"Gash" (frequently used in conjunction with "raging", adapted from a '90's punk band)
"Axe wound"
I warned you...
@Ironworker229 Axe wound is interesting inasmuchas male Royal Navy officers I know used to refer to female officers as "Axe Wings" 😱
Gash used to be quite common but I don't hear it now. Clit canoe is wonderfully fun!
@MLClark
Ha! I didn't include negative terms (twat, axe wound, etc.) in my list because my request was for the more positive ones, but rest assured, they aren't new to me! ;) Feminized people grow up being told all kinds of spectacular(ly bad) things about our bodies, so the list of ugly terms is long!
Buuuut... I'm a Canadian who's never heard "clit canoe". 🤯 You'd think that would be more of a popular choice up north!
Thanks for the laugh, Ironworker! Language is fun!
@MLClark Working backwards...YVW! Shocking that we may not travel in the same linguistic circles, Lol! I may have not perfectly understood the assignment, sorry if I was insensitive.
@stueytheround
No delicate flowers here! :) Glad to have a full range of terms in attendance now.
@Ironworker229 @MLClark
Fun etymology fact:
The C-word which in Shakespeare's 12th Night appears as "Cunny" has its roots in the same place as the geographical words "cut" (Chaucer) and "combe". They mean a "valley" or a "cleft" in the landscape.
So "c***" describes the valley between a woman's thighs. Also worth noting that while vagina is the older word, it was also considered *very* insulting in England until the Victorian era. Yet now, it's the other way around.
Cunt used to be a great word! In the Middle Ages, and well past Shakespeare's time, there was a sly bit of wordplay around "cuntry lasses" in poetry and theatre, and both cunt and cunny were used positively, for pretty/sexually vivacious people. Gropecunt Lane was also a common name for streets with sex workers! Then in the 1920s the US started using it more to slag the missus, while Aussies started calling people cunts in barfights. 🤨 And they ruined a fine word!
@Ironworker229
@MLClark Have you ever seen The Vagina Monologues in a theatre?
There is nothing quite like being surrounded by a thousand women all shouting "CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! I LOVE MY CUNT!" The empowerment as they reclaimed the word for themselves was astounding to behold.
I have indeed. Baked vulva cookies for a sale at one performance back as a young adult, too - everyone got to decorate their own!
TVM used to be a huge part of the university/young-adult experience when I was a kipper, & I think it still is in parts - but with some updated scenes now, since at least a couple in my time wouldn't pass the #MeToo test today. There was also a time when a book called CUNT made the rounds, empowering youth. Oh the spirit of revolution!
What about you, Stuey?
Fellas often have to navigate a lot of really unfair physical standards and expectations, too. Did you ever have a moment of awakening when you came to love yourself as you are, without fussing about how you measured up to the stereotypes of your day and region?
@MLClark
One day, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen called me "A masterpiece of creation" and I learned to cautiously believe her. Twenty years later, that woman still treats me like the sexiest man alive.
I learned to enjoy my body, as it is.
I learned that being ginger wasn't something to be ashamed of (for men of my generation, it was).
I learned that mini-me isn't too small after all!
All it took was for someone to make me feel worthy of love. Thanks @Mauve_matelot @Ironworker229
☺️ I had a sneaking suspicion that your answer was going to involve the magnificent Eleanor, and I'm so happy for the excuse to hear that tale!
There is nothing in the world like love, is there? In so many forms, in so many ways, it heals us of the idea that what we have are imperfections.
In the right company, they never are. 💛
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and affirming journey, Stuey. Long may the wonder of it all carry on.
@stueytheround @MLClark @Mauve_matelot @Ironworker229 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@MLClark @stueytheround
Clam in a fright wig
GOOD. This thread was missing something without you in it. You really tie the room together, Canis! ☺️
@MLClark
I know it's weird, but I don't actually make up euphemisms for 'naughty bits', oh wait, I just did!