Ok.
I am fighting off a panic attack.
Tomorrow is my 55th birthday. My mom died from breast cancer at 54. My dad died this year. I had a heart attack 7 years ago at Christmas.
So I was already feeling highly vulnerable.
Today, I learned my landlord won't renew my lease at the end of the year. So my plan to move cross country in May is now happening in a couple of months. I may get an extra month, which would help, so I'm not trying to move over the holidays.
*breathe*
@tyghebright *breathe* You'll be settled in and enjoying spring time in your new hood soon!
@tyghebright 5 senses exercise time.
What do you feel? What do you taste? What do you smell? What do you see? What do you hear?
Get a glass of water and drink some nice and slowly.
Continue breathing. <3
@evistre @tyghebright Good stuff ❤️
Unsolicited advice.
Man you can only do one thing at a time.
Do one thing well.
Stop.
Think. Feel.
The next right thing will appear.
Do that.
Repeat.
It is the stoping that makes the difference.
Thank you.
@tyghebright my mom died of lung cancer at 58 when I was 29 , I'm 57 had my right upper lobe removed in January and stage 1 lung cancer , my daughter turns 29 in December ,I get it ! Sucks about your landlord I hope the move goes easily and is a good one!!
@tyghebright Lots of triggers. Breathe, is right. I know you will get through to the other side. I admire and believe in you. ❤️
@tyghebright Happy birthday 🎂 and a fresh start in a new place sounds exciting. (Moving is a pain in the ass). I understand feeling worried as you pass the age of the death of your parents. Wishing you a healthy and long life.
I hate moving but LOVE being in a new place and I've been in Dallas entirely too long
I believe you are headed towards my part of the world. I'm happy to try to help you figure out the things on this side. It might not be much, but I can try.
Thank you. I'm headed to Tacoma. And I'll reach out if I need something.
My sister and her husband (and their pets) are there, so I have a connection.
I'm glad you have a welcoming committee. I'm in Seattle; offer still stands if needed.
@tyghebright We barely know each other, but the consistent strength of character you've shown over the years I've followed you since CoSo's inception leads me to believe that you'll tackle this new challenge and overcome it with style!
@tyghebright
Happy to hear you breathing!!! Repeat, slowly. Despacito…🤗
@tyghebright
You’ve got this. *big big hugs*
@tyghebright you've got this, I know you do. Big change brings big emotions for all of us. 💜
@tyghebright 💜 a big positive transition for sure
@tyghebright So much all at once, breathe is right. Break it down into chunks.
And remember you are a tiger 🫂
@tyghebright Wishing you health and peace, and a smooth move whenever it happens. I appreciate your presence and your posts here on CoSo!
@tyghebright
This is doable. Just breathe and keep moving forward.
you got this.
sounds like you just needed to be in your new place a little sooner, and that the landlord is just literally a tool.
@tyghebright Remember, you are just having thoughts. Let them pass. Practice mindfulness. This breaks the chain of panic reactions due to catastrophizing.
Helped me out of a similar situation. 🩷🙏
I’m so sorry about your mom :( and your dad.
I remember one or two years back when you were in a similar difficult situation, and things worked out well for you because you persisted. I have a feeling everything is going to work out great even though it wasn’t according to plan!
♥️ You are doing so well! Happy Anniversary of your birth! 🌹 @tyghebright
@tyghebright Breathe. Do it again. Repeat.
Where are you planning to move? #I’mBeingNosy
@tyghebright Sorry. Just read through the entire post. Glad your bad feelings have passed. Sending big birthday hugs. (((❤️💙💜)))
Happy birthday. Tyghe. yes, stop the world for a bit and find peace, but I hope you take some time to celebrate with friends tomorrow.
I think there's excitement and happiness to be found in this new chapter and adventure that will help you meet the road with confident and assured footsteps forward and onward.
Steady as she goes.
@tyghebright I don't know if I have much to say that will help, but...
I wish I could share a gift I've been given - long ago, I made my peace with death.
Everything we feel in this life - everything we hate, everything we love, everything we fear, everything we want - none of it matters in the end.
Every last fragment of our civilization will be erased, first by wind and water, then by subduction into the mantle, then by the Earth being engulfed by the Sun as it becomes a red giant...
@tyghebright Given time, even the Sun will die. Eventually it exhausts its supply of hydrogen, and being unable to fuse helium, it shucks off its outer layers to create a nebula, leaving behind only a tiny superdense white dwarf.
In fact, every last star in the universe will die - all exhausting their supplies of fusible fuel, collapsing into white dwarfs, neutron stars, & black holes... the former two cooling until they are black against the background of space, the latter slowly evaporating.
@tyghebright Eventually, provided protons decay (our math tells us they will, but so slowly we'll probably never see one decay), everything in the universe will decay away into energy... and as the universe continues to expand without bound, it slowly saps away this energy by stretching the wavelength, until eventually there might as well be nothing left.
So... have no fear, for even civilizations, planets, stars, black holes, & galaxies themselves stand alongside us as entropy claims all.
@tyghebright There is a peace in that futility, knowing that all your mistakes, all your pain, all your fears - they will all be erased by the sands of time, just as we will... as everything will.
We may leave no enduring mark; all we do is temporary, the only thing we can take with us unto the void is the life we've lived, & even that melts away as we pass.
Let our insignificance melt away your fear.
I'm sorry I couldn't offer you hope... that's not what I am. I hope my peace will suffice.
*hugs*
keep breathing, and the overwhelm will pass.
this is a moment when i would play my "mind eraser" playlist into my headphones for a few minutes, just to reset.
if you have any music that you love so much it blocks everything else, listen to it now, even just one song.
then....start making those plans for the bright horizon!
we are here to listen.
@tyghebright if I was still in Texas, I would drive up to Dallas and have 🎂 with you. Your new adventure out west is going to be refreshing. It's nice to regroup with kinfolk.
Heh. Me too.
@tyghebright
Happy birthday🎉🎂
Yes, breathe
@tyghebright Sending a lot of hugs 💜
I'm calmer now. Still a lot of big emotions but that's ok. I have everything I need and will be better than ok!