THERE IS A BLACK WOMAN LAUGHING AT ME ON THE STAGE WHERE IS MY SECURITY #debate

LOOKIT ALL MY BILLIONS LET ME SHOW YOU THEM #debate

Trump is checking if his cyanide capsule tooth is still in place. #debate

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU LOST ALL THOSE MILLIONS YOU FUCKING TOOL #debate

Narrator: The former president did not, in fact, take a bullet to the head.

Me: Guy should have practiced more. #debate

Virtual audience: OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED #debate

Narrator: Fani Willis was not, in fact, part of the DOJ. #debate

Oh, Trump's hate of that black woman sharing the stage with him is so thick and rich and palpable you could deflect bullets with it. #debate

Audience: OooooOOOOOOOOOhhhhh!! #debate

FBI IS LYING THEY DIDN'T INCLUDE THE WORST CRIMES THEY ARE FRAUDLY MCFRAUDFACE #debate

Narrator: The fabric of our country was not, in fact, destroyed. #debate

NOBODY GOT FIRED AND THEY DIDN'T GET BOOKS WRITTEN ABOUT THEM I'M THE MOST VOTEST EVER VOMIT #debate

"He has contempt for the Constitution."
Trump: *nods* #debate

OHHHHH HE IS SOOOOOOO MAD RIGHT NOW #debate

IT'S TRUE PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT ON TELEVISION SEE IT'S REAL #debate

EATING DOGS AND CATS HE ACTUALLY SAID IT OMFG
Tomorrow's Mother Jones headline, probably. #debate

HER RALLIES ARE SMALL WE HAVE THE BIGGEST MOST BEAUTIFUL RALLIES #debate

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #debate

Kamala: WE HAD A BILL WRITTEN BY THE REPUBLICANS AND THIS FUCKER SAID FOR THEM TO VOTE AGAINST IT. #debate

OH SNAP #debate