Much of what I do is... so frivolous. The sci-fi. The fiction. The media analysis writ large.

While pursuing these creative ends, I have also seen and stood by people in the middle of far more immediate hardships. I have *endured* hardship at the hands of complicated figures - including assault by those who were experiencing war-induced PTSD at the time.

I have... such experiences of real-world deprivation, and violence. And so little that I can do with all that I've lived through. /x

There's a common trope in SFF right now. A rhetoric that many use, of--oh no, this venue is closing! and so few will accept stories from X demographic in the first place!--that completely overlooks how hard it is for *anyone* to make a living on stories in the best of times, & how many other groups tell stories just as challenging.

Every time this emerges, what I see is people fighting over scraps in an economy of artificial scarcity around livelihoods shaped around affluent forms of labour. /x

Meanwhile people are dying of floods and heat stroke.

Meanwhile war and climate change are exacerbating resource wars, environmental refugees, and internal displacement at levels we're nowhere close to ready for. All our escalating nationalisms? Part of the same eco-ethnic pressure-points.

I feel like I need scream at the top of my lungs most days: PAY ATTENTION.

But I'm also nothing, nowhere close to as well platformed as necessary to move the needle even a fraction with all I've learned. /x

It hurts to have this much knowledge, know-how, and experience, and to be able to do so little with it.

My industries are failing.

My industries cannot pay me enough to do anything of note with my body of expertise.

I need... so much courage, and so much *audacity*, to think it worth continuing anyway. To keep trying to share the hard-won fruits of my experience, in the hope that my messy, fraught story might help move others to do what they can in their own corners of this broken world. /x

And that courage and audacity is hard to come by.

Some days I find myself reeling in the faith that others have had in me, when I am *such* a mess, and so flawed.

I want to move the needle.

I want more kindness for us all.

I want all of us to see what we're capable of, especially when we work together to mend the wounds caused by truly just a few out of our many fierce billions of fellow striving kin.

It hurts *so* much every time I encounter what we choose to focus on instead. /x

But in the end, I'm just one very flawed human being whistling in the dark.

Aching over how hard this is.

But also rousing when, on brief wondrous occasions, someone else in the murk finds their own courage long enough to whistle back.

So thank *you* for doing so.

Thank you for keeping this thread alive. 💙

(And good night to all of you. The world is hard enough without us being hard to ourselves in it. May you always have grace for how you've chosen to move through this wretched storm.) /📜

@MLClark I can relate so f**king much to this ❤️

@lilyunsub

🫂If you can, I hope you are taking *such* good care of yourself.

This is a wild mental space to live within. I hope you have all the resources on hand that you need to endure it all.

You deserve no less, you hear?

@MLClark doing the best we can, the toll it takes on the physical is pretty rough but learning how to cope better with it all. Its definitely wild and hope you have the resources and support too ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@MLClark
I read every word.
I can do not much but witness.
And.
Help in some small way.
And
Keep the light on.

In my life I have seen some of the worst people can do.
And
Some of the best.

But it ain’t scale.
You can’t weigh one against another.

It is a dance, between the rain drops.

“The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.”

@corlin

You have indeed seen much more than I.

And struggled with the tension between Self and World for longer than I have, too.

I have deep respect for the wisdom that difference in experience has yielded.

And tremendous gratitude for how you share it - here, with me, and in so many other spheres.

In fact, part of what makes going forward easier is the knowledge that I have so much left to learn from fellow travellers like you.

(And you in specific, too.)

Thank you, Corlin, for it all.

@MLClark

OK enough don’t make me blush.
😁

We be cool
😎

@MLClark hello.

somedays the world around is overwhelming.

somedays getting to the realization that .... we are flawed beings, limited in so many ways against impossible odds can be very scary.

I don't know if things will get better. But I'll try.

you can do only so much, and that's fine.

perhaps walking or running that mile takes 10 minutes more, but you still try.

if you're tired today, that's fine, try again tomorrow.

Take it easy, but take it.

much love, you're not alone.

@elmaxx @MLClark sometimes it is just humbling being human, isn’t it?

@Museek @MLClark

Life is tough for everyone, we shouldn't look at our shortcomings while comparing to other's experience... we do what we can, and that's fine.

I don't want to come across as not caring, or playing down someone's pain.

But that's what works for me, keep trying.

I just hope my ramblings and escapism idiocy give you guys a chuckle every now and then.

For what is worth, you two amazing ladies are in my friends feed and I cherish that column like you wouldn't believe.

@MLClark

I have found that the feeling that we are hopelessly outmatched by the forces at play is best countered, at least in my brain, by a single sentence uttered by a character of a fantasy book who was known for his no-nonsense, practical approach to everything:

“Big things are made of little things.”

This, combined with the idea of butterfly effect, gives rise to the image of one domino falling and knocking over two, which knocks over three, which knocks over four… and so on.

@MLClark

(Got distracted by another convo, whoops.)

My point here is that while you may not seem like such a grand force for positive change, you are still a force.

Even if you were to assume humans are too disparate and unorganized to really make shit happen, consider that there are still documented observations of Brownian Motion resulting in spontaneous kinetic motion.

And humans are still animals, subject to natural selection - over time, random movements that are good are preserved.

@MLClark
Because good things make it easier to have kids.
I don’t think humans are fully random, tho. I think concerted efforts overshadow the random, but they are still subject to selective forces, and in the end, the biggest force out there is “does this make me more likely to have kids?”

And I think that goal leads us, slowly, but inexorably, toward egoistic altruism.

So yeah. The little frivolous motions you make are building something bigger.

Perhaps greater than the sum of its parts.

@MLClark
There's a quote I think of in times like this:

"If you're going thru hell, keep going!"

This rough patch (as scary as it is) will fade and new light will fall in its place.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

And we here at CoSo will be here to walk with you every day...

@MLClark
A hemisphere away so instead of a supporting, loving embrace, I can only say you are not alone.

As I read your work, it is clear you are sewing seeds of beauty and you might not see these seeds take root and flourish. In responses to your deep sharing here, people quote those who have shared wisdom born of struggle and pain. You do this for countless people in your work, helping us find courage and hope.

You might not hear us whistle back, but we’re here and grateful for you.❤️

@MLClark "Much of what I do is... so frivolous."

Point of parliamentary order ... Who decides what you do is "frivolous"?

The only person you need to satisfy is you. It's your life.

I obsess over my lifelong pro baseball team. (They generally stink ...) In the grand scheme of things, that's "frivolous," but it's my personal diversion from the insanity of existence.

The key is to love yourself. You be you. That's where I found peace of mind.

@MLClark this might be a good thread topic for a cosocall.. sometimes the calls are lighthearted. sometimes there is also terrific input from others.

You’re right, though. It is an unjust world and it takes collective action to change that. Some people seem blissfully unaware of the size of the challenges we face. Sometimes I find myself needing to zoom in a little, rather than out, just not to overwhelm myself. That meme @phase2 posted about the universe is fitting, here, perhaps?

@MLClark I know you’re just expressing yourself and feeling a bit overwhelmed and I understand because i feel the same often. I hope you’ll see though that the value you bring doesn’t go unnoticed. I mean thinking people usually like to fix things, especially when they’ve got experience doing just that. But you mention feeling frivolous and to that I say, so what? First I’m sure you’re not but 2nd You have one life that you’re certain of. In that life there should be things that bring you joy.

@MLClark I hope you take that in the spirit intended. I’m not always the best at expressing myself with words but I try to be truthful when I do and I’m not diminishing the things you’ve said, in any way. I just mean that remember that it’s ok. It to be a superhero all of the time, too. I think we women forget that, often.

@MLClark I just want to express gratitude to you for speaking from the heart. There’s little that is more important. You’re experiences, your talents, your thoughtfulness, it is not all in vain. It touches others in meaningful ways. And that is valuable.

@MLClark sorry about the typos. Lol

@Museek

These messages have also left me in tears, but very healing ones. I'll say more after I've had time to process them, but thank you *so* much for your presence with this body of text. It has really meant a great deal, and I am beyond grateful for the emotional labour you offered with the fruits of your own hard-won experiences in our hurt and unjust world.

May there always be such resources and community on hand amid any struggles and doubts you endure in turn. You deserve the world. ❤️

@MLClark thank you and thank you for just speaking from your heart. <3 i appreciate being able to connect in a meaningful way. may you rest well tonight and take care. Some days our energy is low and other days everything falls into place. Anyway, good night ✨ hope you can do something special for yourself and the coming days will be a little easier.

@MLClark As a believer, I see a connection between the general loss of faith that has occurred, broadly during the 20th century, and the increase in general moral failure. When people are not taught the difference between right and wrong as an absolute given by a moral deity, and they instead choose their own set of moral principles to live by, isn't the result chaos? Isn't this what we are seeing and experiencing?

It's something to think about. I just wonder if you see that connection too.

@danielbsmith

I do not, because I am a student of history. That supposed recent decline of faith manifested in many eras prior to our own: a very loose Deism, at best, was common in other centuries, along with atheism.

I'm glad faith provides you with solace - I have no interest in taking your belief from you - but the deep history of humanity speaks for itself. We have always contained multitudes, & many generations before our own believed they were living amid what you consider novel chaos.

@MLClark You are correct when you speak of a general deism, etc. There was a general and pervasive sense of a god or gods in control for millennia which can still be seen in many under-developed places in the world. However, you seem to be unaware that atheism was extremely rare before about the start of the 20th century, before humans began to congregate in large urban areas. WWI shattered the faith that many had in humanity that it was, for lack of a better term, evolving.

@danielbsmith

Oh, no, you're speaking to a scholar of literary history with a focus on 19th century literature and a broader literary background that marks the presence of atheist thought back to the ancient Roman era.

Again, I have no interest in taking your faith from you. If you're Christian, you still very much believe in a relativistic god, but you move in a context that allows you to think that there's an "objective" moral standard. Glad it works for you, but it's ahistorical. Cheers!

@danielbsmith @MLClark

I will point this out - granted it is but one study, and I am not educated enough in general or in social sciences to judge its veracity, but the idea, I think, is worth considering:

People aren’t becoming less moral, people are just changing.

We humans are famously bad at distinguishing “different” from “bad.”

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06137-x

@danielbsmith @MLClark

Indeed, there are some theories that posit the “Uncanny Valley” phenomenon is an instinct that pushed early Homo sapiens to fear and loath anything that was also a hominid… but wasn’t quite Homo sapiens.

And/or it’s an instinct to make us avoid selecting people with harmful genetic mutations as mates, and/or to simply avoid people with pathogenic diseases.

It makes all kinds of sense to me. And it, to me, explains a lot about why humans are the way we are.

@GlytchMeister @MLClark I suppose I should clarify something. I never meant to suggest that our modern moral failure was entirely new or novel. In fact I think humans are just as capable of evil / mistakes / etc. as they ever were. We are no different in that regard than the ancients. What's different today is the concentration of it. The ancients were limited by everything: communication, travel, information exchange, medical care. We have overcome them all yet we aren't building to a utopia.

@GlytchMeister @MLClark Once COVID19 set in there was a lot of talk about the end of the world. In Christian literature this is the under the heading of #Eschatology. And many elements were a match! In point of fact the world didn't end but how have we reacted since? Did it wake us from our slumber on climate change? On solving world hunger?

No. We are back to where we were. If anything those that didn't care before about their fellow man have all hardened their hearts even more.

@GlytchMeister @MLClark This defies rational thought and normal logic. Everyone knows that working together is the best way to care for everyone but it seems there is a deeper, uncontrollable selfishness buried in our innermost being. And "where we go one, we go all" (WWG1WGA) to borrow a filthy phrase. We are marching to our own destruction and it seems rational humans are unable to reign in the crazies among us.

Only this time the crazies have communication, travel, and some nuclear weapons.

@GlytchMeister @MLClark How can we understand this?

I think an insight comes from understanding Trump's appeal to MAGA: he hurts the people that they want hurt. Therefore, they will never leave him. Such people are driven by hatred for their fellow man. And Trump has given them a poisonous taste of anarchy but called it freedom.

As a believer I see all this as sin and Trump leading his followers to their own destruction. Climate change won't stop because humans won't stop it so I trust in God.

@danielbsmith

No regret for being atheist. If that's the takeaway you read from my post, I'm sorry for not being clearer. There is no god. There are maybe 6.5 billion *conceptions* of a god in believers, but that's something different.

The problem is that we haven't built a better system of truly humanist care to address the indifferent cosmos in which we all reside. My humanism is big-tent. If you're a humanist of faith, our shared opponent is nihilism. I'm thankful for allies in that fray.