Having some of those 'talks' with kiddo.

Kiddo: so....that means ... You're not a virgin?

Me: hard truth there, best not to dwell on those things too much.

Kiddo: ::looking haunted:: yeah....why'd I think of that?

#parenting

Space battle ship!

Kiddo: I CHALLENGE you dad!!!
Me: ok, sure, but finish your chores and empty the dishwasher after
Kiddo: how about we bet? I win, you empty the dishwasher, you win, then I do it?
Me: that bet has no benefit to me.
Kiddo: fine..if you win, I'll do it.....without complaining.
Me: deal!! Your star fleet is going down!!!
#parenting

#parenting

Kiddo has taken to beat boxing when he's in the shower.

Not sure how I feel about this development.

Wasn't aware this was a part of #parenting.

Kiddo gets up from dinner table and walks away mid meal.

Wife: what are you looking for?

Kiddo: toilet

Wife: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Kiddo from across the house: FOUND IT!!

#parenting

Wife: since it's summer, do you want to invite your girlfriend over to play.

Kiddo: moooooommmm, I'm 13. We hang out, we don't 'play'. I'm not NINE anymore 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

#parenting

Just used kiddos full name, jokingly, and he replied with same, but used dad instead of middle name.
'What, Dad Allen Roedeger?'

😂

#parenting

Me: does Jedi Santa have a candy cane light saber?
Kiddo: there is no Jedi Santa 😡
Me: you're still butter about that, huh?
Kiddo: if you even say Jedi tooth fairy.......

#parenting

How do you politely text the mom of a kid in kiddos class that their kid is being an asshole? 🤔

#parenting

Armpit farts 🤦🏻‍♀️
#parenting

#parenting creek splashing

#parenting catapult edition

#parenting

that's my kiddo 😍😍😍
#parenting

Helping kiddo build a thing for school. Look over and he's clamping his pants. I'm like 😱😱😱😱 be careful, that's not joking territory.

#parenting

Kiddos day is set

#parenting

OHHHH dammmnn, I just a LOOK from kiddo!!! 😂😂😂😂 At swim practice again. After seeing the flirts at Sundays practice, I'm more curious now what kiddo is up to at swim and stayed for tonight too.
Different girl and him are chatting 😱 and kiddo has back to me. Girl points out I'm watching and kiddo does this slow head turn. 💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

#parenting

Christmas is officially here in our house.
Walked into the living room and this flops down from somewhere above.
The elf is in the house now.
#parenting

::Kiddo walks into room::

Kiddo: hey, high five!!!!!

:: Smack::

Me: wait.....why...why is your hand wet??!

Kiddo:. I just licked it.

Me:......

::Kiddo walks out of room::

#parenting

Kiddos Christmas list included a treadmill...... Not for running..... But for racing hot wheels.

Not dropping that much money for a car track. So Facebook freeby to the rescue. Sent them a gift basket anyway as thank you.
Now kiddo is happy and will be for a long time. Though I get to hear this running almost constant now, along with play by play commentary.

#parenting