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Somebody just asked if I had a chainsaw they could borrow.

And now I'm asking myself: how could I arrive at this stage of my life, and not own a chainsaw?

What have I been doing with my time?!

@sumpnlikefaith
Possibly not playing Mr. Mom? (Surely you do have a can of beer, though?)

@HopeSeeker Well...beer and a chainsaw sounds like bad combo.

@sumpnlikefaith

Doesn’t every man over 20 have a chainsaw?

Neither of my adult sons have one BTW

@LnzyHou Based on the evidence I saw in a chainsaw ad one time, I think everyone owns a chainsaw...or, y'know, should!

@sumpnlikefaith

First, I prefer a Milwaukee Sawzall for about 90% of cutting shit jobs, though a chainsaw is better for you know, cutting down big ass trees.

Second, if I won't lend my good scissors, I'm definitely not loaning a saw.

Finally, most folks really don't need either.

Yer fine. 😉

@Cosmichomicide Okay, but if I had a chainsaw, and someone wanted to cut something enormous (and possibly sketchy) with it, I could go do that for them!

I mean, like, then I'd have a chainsaw, and I'd be using it -- win-win!

@sumpnlikefaith

Running a chainsaw sounds like a lot more fun than it is. But yes, you could. 🤣

@Cosmichomicide The one time I've ever used a chainsaw, it was to cut a large shed in a warehouse lot into pieces small enough to fit in a dumpster.

Here was my training:
"You know how to use a chainsaw?"
"No."
"Wanna learn?"
"Yes!"
"Here's how you start it. Here's the throttle. There you go!"

I'll tell you, that was a riot! I still can't believe I got paid for that! 😀

@sumpnlikefaith

Oooh, you should totally try axe throwing then! Super fun!

@Warpspeed3 Right?! Wow, I've been wasting so much time!

Now I just have to figure out how many chainsaws I need to make up for it!

@Warpspeed3 This sounds like sound advice to me!

But I should probably ask: is that a hard limit? Like, if I suddenly end up with 25 or 26, then what?

@peeppeepcircus This is an existential question that is simply over my head.

@sumpnlikefaith @peeppeepcircus
My guess is the chainsaw in the movie was actually “toxic masculinity.” You are probably a nice guy, @sumpnlikefaith!

@HopeSeeker @peeppeepcircus Thanks for the vote of confidence!

I've only used a chainsaw a single, solitary time in my whole life, and I didn't hurt myself or anyone else.

So despite my other regrets, I am glad I haven't done anything to mess up that track record.

@sumpnlikefaith @HopeSeeker

unpopular opinion, but i'm on team chainsaw. aside from the fact that you need it in rural life, you can be the one to help a neighbor after a storm downs a tree on a road. no toxic masculinity detected.

@peeppeepcircus @HopeSeeker I would only want one so that I could be helpful.

And I'd only want to put a giant supercharger on it so that I could be helpful way faster!

@peeppeepcircus Not opposed to chainsaws (used responsibly by sober folks) in any way - Just remembering a very old, silly movie you have probably neither seen. The subject involved a dad staying home and providing child care while the mom worked outside the home…

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