How I conned my picky 6yo into eating salmon tonight at dinner:

“Hey did you know bears love salmon?”
“For real?”
“Yep. Sometimes they stand by the stream and hold out their big claws so they can scoop the salmon right into their mouth. I’m going to pretend my fork is my bear claw.”

The kid ate a whole salmon fillet. Unceremoniously and with a lot of growling but I am taking the W!

#parenting

I spent an hour in my daughter’s kindergarten classroom helping them make farm animal faces on paper plates.

Teachers need more money. So much more money. 💰💰💰

So I just realized that #MothersDay is Sunday. I just realized it now because I overheard kiddo telling her dad about what her classroom was doing for us. So I had to scramble to find something to send to my mom who has been taking care of my aunt the last week.

My husband kept saying, “send her edibles!”
“What about my mother makes you think that would go well?”

I looked at that man long and hard before realizing he meant arrangements. Edible arrangements.

On a scale of “almost exactly the same” to “don’t waste your money”: how much does #SunButter taste like #PeanutButter?

How in a package of 350 alphabet beads are there only one E and one T? My kid wants to make name friendship bracelets for her friends.

Piss off Joann. 😒

Pho takeout tonight.
“Can I dump my sauce in your pho mommy?”

“Yeah! I love it spicy!” (Usually I use all my sauce and half of hers. She doesn’t like it.)

So I let her dump all of hers in and half of mine in.

Turns out they make the sauce fresh daily and now my lips have 3rd degree burns. 🥵

Meanwhile, my kid came home yesterday with two bloody knees and a story and the inhaler info today. What did I get from the school? Not a damn thing.

So I called my sister whose children go to a public school district in VA. I needed her advice before I went wild-mom all over the place. And what do you freaking know…?

Her intel made me wanted to She-Hulk-Mom instead.

She said she got a call from the school because someone pushed my nephew (no injury) before he got on the bus and they wanted to give her a heads up. She gets texts over paper cuts.

Call me crazy, but the onus should not be on a 6yr old to notify parents.

Maybe this is a silly question and I am overthinking it…

Is the school health professional supposed to email or call you when they administer a child’s medication like an #asthma rescue inhaler? ( I would like to know what time it was administered because it’s 4hrs between doses.)

Kiddo told me her friend walked with her from gym class to the clinic for her Albuterol inhaler. But no notice from the school’s health paraprofessional.

I really feel like companies need to work on their wants vs. needs list. Like yeah, it’s really cool that you have the cutting-edge AI-powered blah-bitty-blah… but you can’t afford cooling stations for your outdoor workers? You can’t afford to let your workers pee without threatening to fire them? You can pay people a wage fair enough that they don’t need to have three jobs? But you can afford hundreds of millions in new tech. Got it.

I feel like garbage today. And I am hoping it’s a good omen.

It starts with me, telling myself I can wait for a library loan for the new release I have been excitedly awaiting. Then I start looking at reviews, seeing it compared to all my most favorite recent reads. So naturally I cave and buy it. Then I have that whole mom guilt about blowing money on myself so I buy 4 more books for my kid because my 🧠 can’t let JUST me have nice things.

And books are the nicest of things.

The ray of sunshine in my day. Little #book lover making her own bookmark for her new Junie B. Jones haul.