😳😅 Don’t we all?
#parenting

Kiddo has taken to stuffing a book under her pillow at night, thinking I don’t notice… like a good little #bookdragon. 📖🐉
#parenting

My brilliant, soon to be 7-year-old finished her first whole chapter book today. 117 pages read entirely by her with only minor pronunciation assistance. She never let me read so much as a sentence to her because she knew she could do it. 🤩

#books #parenting #readers

I’ve got kiddo sitting at the table with a green and a red pen to mark the school lunch calendar so I don’t have to repeat the lunch menu and “are you packing or buying?!” six times a day while she’s distracted with playing, reading, singing, etc.
#parenting

🚨Big deal alert🚨
We are having a first grade friend over after school today. I’ll be serving apple slices, popsicles, and cool mom energy. I am reaaaaalllly hopeful this helps to tamp down some of Kiddo’s #anxiety and build confidence.

#parenting

The US Surgeon General coming out to acknowledge that parenting in our time is a public mental health crisis is the god damned validation I didn’t know I needed.

https://www.axios.com/2024/08/28/surgeon-general-parents-mental-health-advisory
#parenting

I asked my child today, “Why, on days I work, do you let Daddy sleep in until 9 when on days I am home you wake me up no later than 6:45?”

The answer? “Because Daddy is tired. He works hard and makes you your lunch for work.”

Cool… yeah.

😳😭

#InvisibleLabor #MomMood #parenting

Obsessed with Mulan, 6yo: “Mommy can girls be in the army NOW?”
Me: “Yep.”
6yo: “Oh good, cause I wanna be a guard.”
Me: “Oh. What would you like to guard?”
6 yo: “The Emperor of China, are you even paying attention?”
Me: “um. I think you need to be born in China to do that job. Also there isn’t an emperor anymore.”
6 yo: *groan of disappointment* What can I even guard then?

Here I am smashing dreams. #parenting

Well it finally happened, the discussion about chicken (🍗 being the same as 🐓.) It started out a little wide and crazy-eyed for a minute… then dipped into a super gross line of questioning… but we overcame and asked for the other drumstick. #parenting

Kiddo asked if we can paint her room a new color. I said, “How about we rearrange your furniture instead? That went over well.

Then hubs comes home and asks why we rearranged her room? I told him so we didn’t have to paint her room. He laughs. Then not even five minutes later he said he would go get some pain color books.
I honestly should have known he would want to do the thing I was trying to avoid. #parenting #Marriage

6yo is having a whole Lego city opera. Budgies (parakeets) are providing raucous accompaniment.

Pouring myself a cup of iced patience and serenity… or sanity maybe? #coffee #parenting #birbs

Kiddo woke up with the idea in her head that she would write me an instruction book on how to make a bed.
So she went and got her wooden tool box and began laying out a still life reference of tools.
“I thought it was a book on how to make a bed?”
“It is.”
Looking, “Oh! It is! Wow… okay. Eat your breakfast too, ok?”
“Aye aye captain.”
Mommy needs more coffee. #parenting

Hubs: A bedtime snack again? Maybe you should try to eat more dinner.
Me: She ate all her dinner. Besides, it’s not actually about being hungry it’s a D-E-L-A-Y tactic.
6yo: (scandalized!) Delay?! I do not!! Can I have more crackers and some milk?

Now I am not even mad about the delay. Proud AF of the spelling interpretation.

#parenting

Babysat the spoils of my husband’s youthful good looks while kiddo took one more ride (honestly there were seven “one more rides…”) The Guess My Age game is just great for his ego.

I am ducking exhausted and WOW did we blow through the family fun 💰.

#parenting

“Hey mom! Good news.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“I got the booger.”

Fabulous.
#parenting

Best way to clean up after a water ballon fight is to make it a contest. Whoever picks up the most wins a prize. #parenting

“Rawr! Raaaaaawwwwrrrr!”
“Ah! Help!”
“I got you. I’ll save you. So should we move our date to the big belly mountain?”
“Oh yes, I love big belly mountain.”
“But first, let’s get you to a hospital. You are not going to survive that tiger attack.”
“Oh look, there’s my niece Jessie. She’s a doctor.”
“What’s the matter here?”
“My stomach hurts.”
“Well no actually, your leg is broken.”
“Oh. Okay!”
“Oh no. There’s a baby coming out.”
🫣

Whew. 😅 Barbies these days…
#parenting

While sitting on the couch watching Robin Hood with the kiddo…
“Mommy, I love you. Also you’re really hairy today.”
“Well…sorry about that.”
“No!” (Darkly) “The hairs should be sorry.”

#parenting delightfully weird since 2017.

Parenting is checking with your child no less than 6 times to make sure they don’t need to go to the toilet, then spending 10 minutes setting up for their every possible whim or desire while you are indisposed, and telling them 3 times, “Mommy needs a few minutes to go potty. I’m just upstairs. You are good.”

No less than 5 seconds after your tush touches faux porcelain, “MOM! IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!”

I haven’t seen a poo through to satisfactory completion in about 6 yrs.
#parenting

Kiddo’s got her kindergarten celebration performance today they will be singing us three songs and having popsicles after. In the car, on the way to school she asks, “Mommy, do you think you will cry? Like you did at Uncle Jon’s wedding?”
“Happy tears? You want me to happy cry?”
“Only if you WANT to.”

Well damn. 🥹😅 The pressure is on now.

#parenting