Out of nowhere:
“He plus is makes he’s.”
“Oh yeah. You’re right. It is. You’re learning about contractions! That’s definitely first grade stuff”
(Starts writing in the air,) “H-E-catastrophe-S.”
😅
#parenting

Kiddo apologizing, one by one, to all the Barbie dolls who did not get selected to go to show and tell tomorrow is the cutest thing that is taking waaaay too much time in this day.
#parenting

How I conned my picky 6yo into eating salmon tonight at dinner:

“Hey did you know bears love salmon?”
“For real?”
“Yep. Sometimes they stand by the stream and hold out their big claws so they can scoop the salmon right into their mouth. I’m going to pretend my fork is my bear claw.”

The kid ate a whole salmon fillet. Unceremoniously and with a lot of growling but I am taking the W!

#parenting

Kiddo got in the car and said, “my eyes hurt from all the screens today.” She only ate the orange I put in her snack tin, not the rice Krispy treat. She said she felt like she wanted to just go to sleep when they were doing their iPad literacy app. Sure enough she has a fever. Checked her water bottle, looks like she barely had 2 oz. 🧐 Now comes the mental gymnastics of deciding if she’s having a fever from dehydration or if she has a virus. To go to school tomorrow or not to go?

#parenting

I am such a pushover mom when the request is, “PLEASE mommy! One more chapter?!”

Gets me every time.

#parenting

Found this portrait in Kiddo’s sketchbook this morning while I was tidying up her room.

I’ve got an artist. 🎨
#parenting

The other night I was tired and told kiddo, “The first one who goes to potty, washes their hands and brushes their teeth gets to wear the Wish jammies.” She took this competition so seriously and is now challenging me continuously to contests with the prize being the Wish jammies. To be clear, I never GET to win. The deck is stacked. Which is just as well.

There is no scenario in which I could fit any part of my body into a 6yr old’s pajamas.

It’s a great motivator though.

#parenting

6 year old was having an #asthma flare up. Hubs is prepping for a diagnostic procedure and is indisposed. Hot damn is it hard to wrestle a passed out 6yo into a position to administer her inhaler. 💦

But she’s good now. No more hacking. Glad my efforts came to the desired fruition.

#parenting

Borrowed the Call Jane movie from the library and kiddo saw the case sitting on the tv stand.

“What even is this?”
“It’s a mommy movie.”
“When I’m an adult, can I watch it with you?”
“Sure.”
“You’re the coolest mommy ever.”

Do I deserve it? Who knows, but I’m taking the W.

#parenting

Kiddo was moaning and whimpering in her bed. Freaking fever. Sat her up to check her temp and she puked all over us. We took a shower, hubs changed her bed. The first thing she asked in the shower: “why was the puke ochre?” That’s right, “ochre.” Kid flexes her vocab smarts even while ill.

She’s in our bed now. It’s bad enough I will barely sleep tonight after three days in a row at the hospital. I might as well not get a double whammy of neck pain from sleeping in her room.
#parenting

I have a 15 minute “Mystery Reader” time slot for Kiddo’s kindergarten class today. So naturally it’s taking me multiple hours over three days of staring at her bookshelf to pick just the right book.
#parenting #books

I rearranged my child’s bedroom while she was at school today and I’m praying the novelty of the new room layout will be enough to conceal the fact that I purged lots of little scraps of paper she was saving from crafts that have been languishing on and around her book shelves and dresser.
#parenting 🫠

I pulled the plug on the bath and there was instantaneous screams of agony… from the “mermaid bath toys.”
“NOOOOO HOW WILL WE EVEN SURVIIIIIIIIIIVE?!”
“I CAN’T EVEN BREATHE AIR, GIANT LADY!!! YOU MIGHT AS WELL DROP US IN A VOLCANO!”

“They” continued to gasp and flop and call me a giant lady villain until every drop of water went down the drain.

Giant lady. Gee thanks. 😅
#parenting

Doctor prescribes inhaler for kid.
Mom asks for one to send to school.
Doctor gives extra one for school.
Mom calls school.
School needs forms. School emails forms to mom.
Mom sends forms to doctors office the very same hour.
Doctor’s office replies the very same hour… that it will take 7-10 business days.

7 have passed. Looking more like 10.

So I’m stressed for the second Phys. Ed day in a row and glad it’s looking like indoor recess. 😤

#parenting #healthcare

Kiddo has a fervent kindergarten admirer, Logan. The feeling is mutual. And then Brendan had to come along and embarrass them both in front of the whole class, apparently. Dang, dude. Jealous much?

I love how much she tells me every little thing. I know that won’t last forever.
#parenting

Kiddo is in the bathroom begrudgingly performing the bedtime routine because it’s interrupting her song listing all the types of bears of which she is aware. It’s a shockingly long song.
#parenting

Ah, Spring break. A time of joy, renewal, hope, and family…

And also a break from any toilet privacy for mom whatsoever.

😳
#parenting

Also my child today: “Mommy can I take apart Liann’s (lego friends character) room?”
Me: (sigh) “That took us a long time to build are you sure you want to do that?”
6yo: “okay… yeah… but mommy? My Legos, my choice. …Right?”
Me: “…yep. Right.”

#parenting

😤I know it’s kids being kids and I know I had more than my fair share of bullying in school… but some little brat told my daughter that she had a stupid name and I am just fuming. #parenting

Excuse me, I have to go overdo the whole tooth fairy gig tonight.
#BigMomEnergy #parenting