Kurt Cookie Liberator 🐲
"Stare, stare into the basin
And wonder what you've missed"
-Auden
The wishes barrel starts behind the curtain.
always down for noods and foodpron
Joined Dec 2018
Kiddo gets up from dinner table and walks away mid meal.
Wife: what are you looking for?
Kiddo: toilet
Wife: 🤦🏻♀️
Kiddo from across the house: FOUND IT!!
Wife: since it's summer, do you want to invite your girlfriend over to play.
Kiddo: moooooommmm, I'm 13. We hang out, we don't 'play'. I'm not NINE anymore 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Just used kiddos full name, jokingly, and he replied with same, but used dad instead of middle name.
'What, Dad Allen Roedeger?'
😂
Me: does Jedi Santa have a candy cane light saber?
Kiddo: there is no Jedi Santa 😡
Me: you're still butter about that, huh?
Kiddo: if you even say Jedi tooth fairy.......
How do you politely text the mom of a kid in kiddos class that their kid is being an asshole? 🤔
Helping kiddo build a thing for school. Look over and he's clamping his pants. I'm like 😱😱😱😱 be careful, that's not joking territory.
OHHHH dammmnn, I just a LOOK from kiddo!!! 😂😂😂😂 At swim practice again. After seeing the flirts at Sundays practice, I'm more curious now what kiddo is up to at swim and stayed for tonight too.
Different girl and him are chatting 😱 and kiddo has back to me. Girl points out I'm watching and kiddo does this slow head turn. 💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
Christmas is officially here in our house.
Walked into the living room and this flops down from somewhere above.
The elf is in the house now.
#parenting
::Kiddo walks into room::
Kiddo: hey, high five!!!!!
:: Smack::
Me: wait.....why...why is your hand wet??!
Kiddo:. I just licked it.
Me:......
::Kiddo walks out of room::
Kiddos Christmas list included a treadmill...... Not for running..... But for racing hot wheels.
Not dropping that much money for a car track. So Facebook freeby to the rescue. Sent them a gift basket anyway as thank you.
Now kiddo is happy and will be for a long time. Though I get to hear this running almost constant now, along with play by play commentary.
Grabbed some to go food with kiddo. While waiting in line....
Kiddo: you know the thing with some Asian counties....
Me: ::oh jeez, there's an Asian lady in front of us, what's he going to say:: 😱
Kiddo: ...is wearing masks was kind of normal before, so it's not as big a deal there.
Kiddo has been productive today.
#parenting
#blesskurtskiddo
Me: good night kiddo, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
Kiddo: 🙄🙄 uhhg, I'm too old for that. I'm 12!!!!
Kurt Cookie Liberator 🐲
"Stare, stare into the basin
And wonder what you've missed"
-Auden
The wishes barrel starts behind the curtain.
always down for noods and foodpron
Joined Dec 2018