@LordSpenserRoberts I am sorry you are hurting friend. Glad I could help a bit.

We've all danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. Some of us are just better at giving the old bastard the finger than others. It’s not anything more than stubborn luck. May we all remain lucky.

Nobody is helped by your speculation, even if you mean it in a “loving” manner. Nobody kicks themself harder than the spouse or a family member of a person who flamed out and self termed.

If you don’t have intrusive thoughts, or periods of darkness which lead to those thoughts, thank whatever deity you believe in and hug your family. Keep a casual eye on the folks you know who burn hot. Be there, don’t be intrusive it won’t help, just be there.

Dude. STFU! If you don’t fight the demon, every day, just to get up and put on your mask and keep going, Congratulations! You win. Some of us fight every damn day just to get to the starting block. Most of us will never answer the call of the demon, but some of us do. You do not get to feel “superior”, you’re lucky. You don’t have to fight your own brain chemicals just to stay on the topside of the dirt.

There are some of us who simply burn too hot, all the time. Some flame out, some figure out how to self regulate and go years and years masking before they flame out. It is a fight every fucking day. Nobody notices until one of the “famous ones” flames out and then it’s all “how did nobody know? What happened? How did everybody miss it? They had everything. Why weren’t they grateful?

So the hip new game is to take the sick kid to the dr convince the dr the kid is in fact sick have them send meds to the pharmacy only to hear “yeah we’re out of that…” this kicking off a gave of “phone a pharmacy looking for who has it…” I’m getting good at the lingo at least. 🤦🏼‍♀️

My 6th grader came home this evening telling me about an incident today where two of his peers approached him and the following conversation transpired:

"Hey, can you answer a question for us?"
"What?"
"Are you gay?"
"No."
"Oh, cause you kinda look gay."
😳😳😳
"Yea, several people agree we think you're gay."

Even if that were a valid question, in this application it is NOT it is a form of bullying and not acceptable, so what

Shout at the Devil rolling across the radio behind me as I order iced tea unsweet cold & dark like my soul was the high point of my morning.