I’m never here. I should be, but I sort of forget. But time and time again you’ve shown to be the most supportive group I’ve found on the internet.
There’s just something I want to get off my chest.
My wife and I were expecting our first baby a few days ago. She miscarried very early on. All that pain came sweeping back. Oh how I long to hold that child in my arms.
Some part of me is still terrified it was my fault somehow- even if I just missed a warning somewhere. Some part of me worries that she was too scared to go through with it, and too scared to tell me that.
@tiaugn
I'm sorry for your loss. 💜 Commemorating what would have been a day of joy is part of grieving, even if you just write a letter or plant a tree or flower, something maybe you and your wife could do together.
@arthurpendragon we were going to name them willow.. I would really like to plant a tree, if there’s a place I’m allowed to do so.
@tiaugn That pain does not leave, and does subside with time. Planting a tree or even lighting a candle and letting it burn all day long can help focus the grief. I am sorry for your family 's loss. ((💜 ))
I'm so sorry for your loss.
But do not blame yourself for an early miscarriage. There are so many things that have to go right to have a successful pregnancy, 20% of people who know they're pregnant miscarry, and 80% of fertilized eggs never make it.
Medical women often wait for after 12 weeks before revealing a pregnancy, knowing that before that, there is such a high chance some randomness will end the pregnancy.
I know it was lost months ago, but I became attracted to…that spirit…and to the idea that I’d finally have a child of my own, and some part of my longs to…commemorate that in some way, but I don’t really know what would be…fitting.
It’s been a very hard couple of days, with a lot of feelings I don’t know how to express.