Wee vent:
Cut three people to low-contact and put my father back on no-contact this week (my fault: I made a bid to heal our relationship; he answered with his usual silence).
They're two halves of the same whole, though: people who have very specific expectations of me--to fill a void in their life, help them achieve a goal, or serve as a receptacle for their interests on their terms.
I never feel less "seen" than when I realize how much of my life has been spent navigating such people. 1/2
Anyway, thanks for the space to vent.
We all know that there's only one king of the lighthouse, so no worries - I won't try to take his crown any time soon.
Night, CoSo.
Be kind, and do good crimes.
@MLClark Sweet dreams and remember not one of us is perfect. We do best when we can forgive others and forgive ourselves.
@MLClark I think having many failures is a sign that you’ve had a courage to live your life in fullness. I’ve also had many failures, but each one has also been an opportunity to learn and grow stronger.
Family and relationships are hard things. My brother and I, well you know much about that. He hates me, to say the least.
You’re doing right for yourself, and taking account of all those hard lessons you’ve learned by making those tough choices
I’m proud to know you and to stand beside you
@NiveusLepus @MLClark lovely words from the Hare! And so true.
I'm so glad you are comfortable venting to us here. :)
@MLClark FWIW I am privileged to not know your past and today, the person I see before me is a wonderful person and I am truly glad we met. Here's to the future, my friend 🍻
I too am very glad that we met, Stuey - and I promise, it's not just so that I can live vicariously through your beer selections. 😅 (But by all means, have a pint for me when circumstances allow!)
Many thanks for your kind words, and for living so wholeheartedly and with great optimism even though there is so much trespass all around us.
If we begin to build the world we want to see by carrying it with love in our hearts, you're setting a smashingly good example for us all. 🤗
@MLClark: I had to do that with a number of longtime friends and many acquaintances, alas. It blows, but you have to do that when you only hear from people when they're flailing to fill a void (and then bail when they feel better), needing help (loads of it) to do something (often after putting it off far too long or it's something they can't do but got themselves into), or to spout and nothing else.
I was told by a shrink I'm too patient and too reliable, which makes me a convenience target.
@MLClark: After learning balance, how much of a convenience target I'd always been hit in the face like iron skillet at Mach3, repeatedly.
When I began matching energy or bringing this (politely) to their attention, shit got ugly fast. It stung and left some marks.
Good luck to you. It's not a fun trek but a necessary one.
Thank you for your openness& vulnerability around painful situations caused by many factors outside of your control.
I sorely appreciate the experiences you share, TDA, and how much your sharing normalizes talking about the hurtful assumptions & expectations set upon other human beings all the time.
I'm so glad you know your worth lies far beyond how poorly you've been treated.
And I'm grateful for your shared & hardwon wisdom. Thank you for being true to yourself first.
@MLClark sympathies. I've pretty much cut off my biofamily. My in-laws are wonderful, sane, NORMAL people.
My biofam?
Yikes.
I have a great many problems to fix, but many were made by trying to dodge *other* problems. A life of evasive manoeuvres.
A part of me strongly longs to disappear, go where no one knows me, and work quietly far from my many failures.
But wherever I go, I am, so that's not gonna fix the issue (unless I become a lighthouse operator?!).
I have huge problems to resolve...
And most still reside in me.
I dunno. Maybe I need to buy more forks. 2/2