Wee vent:
Cut three people to low-contact and put my father back on no-contact this week (my fault: I made a bid to heal our relationship; he answered with his usual silence).
They're two halves of the same whole, though: people who have very specific expectations of me--to fill a void in their life, help them achieve a goal, or serve as a receptacle for their interests on their terms.
I never feel less "seen" than when I realize how much of my life has been spent navigating such people. 1/2
@MLClark: I had to do that with a number of longtime friends and many acquaintances, alas. It blows, but you have to do that when you only hear from people when they're flailing to fill a void (and then bail when they feel better), needing help (loads of it) to do something (often after putting it off far too long or it's something they can't do but got themselves into), or to spout and nothing else.
I was told by a shrink I'm too patient and too reliable, which makes me a convenience target.
@MLClark: After learning balance, how much of a convenience target I'd always been hit in the face like iron skillet at Mach3, repeatedly.
When I began matching energy or bringing this (politely) to their attention, shit got ugly fast. It stung and left some marks.
Good luck to you. It's not a fun trek but a necessary one.
Thank you for your openness& vulnerability around painful situations caused by many factors outside of your control.
I sorely appreciate the experiences you share, TDA, and how much your sharing normalizes talking about the hurtful assumptions & expectations set upon other human beings all the time.
I'm so glad you know your worth lies far beyond how poorly you've been treated.
And I'm grateful for your shared & hardwon wisdom. Thank you for being true to yourself first.