Wee vent:

Cut three people to low-contact and put my father back on no-contact this week (my fault: I made a bid to heal our relationship; he answered with his usual silence).

They're two halves of the same whole, though: people who have very specific expectations of me--to fill a void in their life, help them achieve a goal, or serve as a receptacle for their interests on their terms.

I never feel less "seen" than when I realize how much of my life has been spent navigating such people. 1/2

I have a great many problems to fix, but many were made by trying to dodge *other* problems. A life of evasive manoeuvres.

A part of me strongly longs to disappear, go where no one knows me, and work quietly far from my many failures.

But wherever I go, I am, so that's not gonna fix the issue (unless I become a lighthouse operator?!).

I have huge problems to resolve...

And most still reside in me.

I dunno. Maybe I need to buy more forks. 2/2

Anyway, thanks for the space to vent.

We all know that there's only one king of the lighthouse, so no worries - I won't try to take his crown any time soon.

Night, CoSo.
Be kind, and do good crimes.