@ChattyQueequeg

Speaking of which, I may soon be offering a *very* good deal on Lucky Cat's Paws™

Get your orders in now - supplies are limited...to eight 😹

@ChattyQueequeg

I thought Chinchilla farming was like #Bengalcat farming: you raise them until their pelts are large enough for...The Harvest™...

😹

@NanaWithSoul @Jezibaba

LMAO

@Jezibaba

🤣

@Jezibaba

That's an amazingly well-carved pumpkin 👍

The dress details are *chef's kiss*

@EmilySuess @poemblaze

Kidding!

Those lasers are completely under control by *actual* Jews.

#MazelTough

@EmilySuess @poemblaze

Keep talking badly about Marjorie Trailer Queen & she'll target you with those Jewish Space Lasers...

@HumorHasIt @smittycanada1

If your sinuses are scorched & your eyebrows are literally on fire good chance it was the cat.

FLEE THE BUILDING & CONTACT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT ASAP

😹😹😹

@HumorHasIt

FTR...

As horrific as dog farts are, cat farts are *the worst*. Like Public Health Emergency-level stuff.

The only way to survive them is with a BSL-4 TyChem suit. Or flee the entire building 😹🤮

@chaddus

And the Best. Dog. Ever. ❤️😢

https://counter.social/@netspionage/105295622235101287

@chaddus

https://counter.social/@netspionage/108909483522452078

@chaddus

Just FTR, conventional wisdom say #Bengals are not lapcats...

https://counter.social/@netspionage/108897023108860158

https://counter.social/@netspionage/109088444060783195

I would politely note that every cat has a different personality; these two just happen to like parking their furry little butts on their human.

They're very doglike cats.

@chaddus

And FTR, having a 16-18lb cat jump on your chest while you're lying in bed is like being hit with a furry bowling ball.

Of course, #Bengals aren't lapcats (he says as he tries to keep Ausar from climbing all over him) 🙄

Feel free to creep my media for examples of how non-lapcat-ish they are 🙄😹

@chaddus

Nope. They're just #Bengals and I just have the two. They're brothers, despite appearances (there's sometimes a single Snow Bengal mixed in with the "regular" Bengals).

Ausar is normal sized at 10-11lbs; Singha is the MonsterPuss-sized one.

@chaddus

Dogs, OTOH, are loyal, lovable creatures which no home is complete without.

Sadly, I do not currently have a dog (#Akitas & Spitz-breeds are my favorite dogs, hands-down), though once I've got some things straightened out, I fully intend on having another 😊

#cosodogs

@chaddus

No. They are horrible, furry little ingrates whose primary purpose is to convert food into shit, and - unlike you or I or most any other living thing - do so without deriving any actual energy therefrom.

I cannot, in good conscience, endorse them as pets: when they're not consuming vast quantities of cat food or taking ocelot-sized dumps in their litter, they're busy destroying stuff, causing general mischief, and turning my sleeping body into a trampoline.

/heavy_sarcasm_font