@SSNBubblehead ah, okay, I think I'm starting to get it. Thanks to everybody here who helped out, along with all the resume reviews I've gotten, this thing should be pretty tight once I'm finished.
And thank you!
@dr_zooks Best of luck!
@dr_zooks @amarand @JLong Accomplishments are the things that you are done doing and you already did.
Stuff like "re-engineered x to do y" or "maintained complex blah that did blah".
Sometimes you might euphemize a little. Don't say "drove shitty middle manager to quit" say "helped refine team dynamic."
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong "I will throat punch your kids if you don't hire me right fuckin now." and then attach a picture of Steve Martin from the airport scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
Like that?
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong your kids have nice throats, sure would be a shame if someone were to ram a fist into them...
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong I'll get it eventually.
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong okay, how's about I tell the guy I found his wife on Tinder and we're going on a date soon, and then give him the opportunity to name the kid I'm gonna have with his wife.
Yeah?
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong alright, alright (the upbeat kind, not the tired kind) I think I'm picking up what you're putting down.
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong no no, you misunderstand, see, I'm providing a kid throat protection service.
I'm a fuckin doer, yo.
@AskTheDevil @amarand @JLong hell yeah, that sounds good.
@JLong @amarand I always hesitate because I have to figure out if they want professional accomplishments or personal, because those are 2 VERY different lists.
I always go with professional because I'm pretty sure no hiring manager cares that I learned how to play some guitar solos, but I always give it a thought first.
@JLong also, I just used your description of my ninja shit because that sounded awesome. I didn't say craft, I just said I was dedicated to the field to keep it from having too much slang,
@dr_zooks You just wrote it.
"I am a doer. I accomplish ninja shit by doing ninja shit."
What else needs to be said, other than the HR director saying, "You're hired!"
I've been hired for some very awesome jobs with less of an intro. Good luck!