maximum of 4 years in prison PER COUNT, that adds up to FUCK YOU, DICKHEAD #girlmath #donthecon

also that really should say "prior criminal CONVICTIONS," the dude has been getting away with crimes his entire life.

also IF HE'S YOUNG ENOUGH TO SERVE AS PRESIDENT, HE'S YOUNG ENOUGH TO SERVE TIME

why the hell do we have to wait SIX WEEKS for sentencing?! do other felons get to walk around (and abscond to Russia) for a month and a half after they're convicted, do they?!

DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE WHY I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS? I'M GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING AORTIC DISSECTION.

oh okay, we'll just call you all Mexican, then, is that better? that immigrant with the Spanish accent, he's Mexican. oh he's actually from Honduras? well unfortunately there's not an umbrella term to refer to all people from Latin America so he's Mexican now.

or maybe we'll just call you all Latina. you don't like a gender-neutral signifier so Ruben Gallegos is a Latina candidate trying to win over fellow Latinas like George Lopez and John Leguizamo. is that better, Ruben?

.

fighting federal regulations is Republican behavior, Tammy. the very idea that you'd get anywhere with "average American" voters by teaming up with *European businesses* to dismantle regulations that protect us from corporate malfeasance...

careful, Ruben, voters don't like immigrants, remember?

yeah, that's how you know it's worthless. like Carlin says, "it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."

just revolting. pandering to racists.

you literally just got done saying Democrats need to start naming villains like Republicans do. well Republicans who treat Democrats with respect lose immediately and horribly, so why do they get respect from us? Democrats are Republicans' #1 enemy, if voters want bipartisanship why doesn't that apply to them? fuck this shit, I'm gonna throw up.

obviously, because if they were paying attention then they'd actually have principles and consistently vote for the only party that upholds those principles instead of playing eenie-meenie-mynie-moe with their future

okay, so two things the president has literally no control over and one that requires an act of Congress which will never happen. also, good fucking luck lowering housing costs when the percentage of available housing is increasingly swallowed up by CLIMATE CHANGE.

also why are we concerned with the under 30s, a group that is (a) notoriously stupid and (b) notoriously lazy about voting? why should I care if Johnny GED who doesn't vote cares more about beerflation than climate change?

ok let's do some napkin math, there's roughly 255 million adults in the US, 18% means about 46 MILLION Americans with student debt. and with a starting number of $400 billion, that means each one of those 46 million people is AVERAGING nearly $10,000 in debt. it's one of the few things the president can actually eliminate with the stroke of a pen, so why ignore it?

because you're stumping for populism, and populism is a "majority rules, fuck the minorities" philosophy.

because the full electorate is apparently a bunch of drooling idiots. "debt is a rich people problem!" "climate change isn't relevant to me!" FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF

WHO FUCKING CARES, IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS. NOT EVERY DELICIOUS FOOD HAS TO BE GOOD FOR YOU, YOU SOUL-SUCKING FUN-DESTROYING BUZZKILLS.

the intellectual pursuit of truth requires taking positions on "hot-button issues." just because people get emotional about it and have wrong opinions doesn't mean there's no intellectual truth to be found in it.

NO, IT ISN'T. THE VOTERS HAD THEIR CHANCE TO DECIDE AND THEY CHOSE POORLY. WE DO NOT ALLOW VOTERS TO CHOOSE CRIMINAL DEMAGOGUES WITH ASPIRATIONS OF DICTATORSHIP.