I had a weird dream.

fuck.

I thought the dream I had where I died in my 20s was close enough.

hooray getting older!

I have engaged in something extremely embarrassing, but I dunno, the effects of it seem to be good?

my username and user pic are too known so I will not say what it is. but, needless to say, I feel like my communications with everyone in my life is better for it as well as my own confidence in myself and my own patience for tolerating others.

It is SO EMBARRASSING, but
gosh. Fucking FUCKING gosh.

I hardly ride any long distances so it's not like having a balancer will do anything. The extra amps will be pretty rad tho. Also; if I were to splice in my VESC, I think I'll experience some nice and HORRIBLY ILLEGAL speed! that is, anything above 28mph goes past ebike classes and ventures into scooter territory.

or, given what I've been preaching to the fb groups, a large boost in torque resulting in great accel, and maybe a higher top speed due to having more power to move my 180 lbs around.

oh fuuuuuuu bad practices at work!

I bought an XT60 splitter! and not the responsible 'load balancing' kind! just a Y! and I "fixed" another battery I have so it "looks nice" (put its endcaps back on to hide the wiring, replaced the charging port with one that's compatible with DC22 barrel connectors like all my PEVs), aaaaand I couldn't finish charging it coz i don't want to leave it overnight. Tomorrow I find a way to fasten it to the frame! <3 so excited!

I've always wondered about trying acting.

I have stage fright and I don't want to be perceived... but I also think it would be easy and I would like it. It's a weird amalgam of conflicting feelings. But now that I'm comfortable with the label of 'autistic', I more or less see it like I'm just running an actual script instead of the usual ones I use at home, or work, or with friends, or family, etc.

And that's kinda like how it is; just more internal. Think of it like code switching.

I spent two Matlock episodes putting the throttle back on, and half an episode undoing parts to fix them proper.

OMG THIS THING IS SO MUCH FUN TO RIDE WITH THE THROTTLE! This time I fastened the seat down [I've been riding around with it loose coz I needed to see what kind of throttle connection it was and was far too lazy to put it back]

This is going to be hard to sell, if I even sell it. I'm gonna lend it to a friend's girlfriend who was thinking about getting one.

2/2 her feelings and it was enough for me to feel slightly good about myself as well as understand that I've been told something while in a vulnerable state [for her], and made it known that, well, I understand all that! and that I am not the little shit I was back in my shit years and will simply respect and stand by.

Things are weird for me!😩

I have been talking to my ex of 18 years since over a year ago. we're sweet on each other. it is long distance as we are on separate coasts.

She knows that long distance anythings are fickle and ultimately should not be held steadfast.

Bless that woman, she is smart.

Another, local, has encroached upon me endearingly and... well, she's super cool, I am very fond of her, and I think she is fond of me, but she is holding her cards close to her chest, however she did give me a clue as to her 1/2

bcp's dictionary:

Luck: v - past tense of Lick

2/2
in any case, i pumped the tires, rode it around and fuuuu i cannot lean too much if the inner pedal is down because it scrapes but I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS.

easily my next project bike, but... UGH I HAD TO LET THE PREVIOUS OWNER KNOW. I don't want to be that guy.

She asked me if I "got it working" and i told her everything and, i dunno, she's weird. >.> her son crashed it, according to her, and the lady who actually managed the transaction was pleasant and NOT the seller.

I'll just keep it.

fuck i have far fewer friends than I just now realized.
SO I GUESS I WILL SPILL MY GUTS ALL OVER YOU FOLKS

Look at this beautiful, weird "half-size" bike! I bought it for a pretty decent 150! throttle is dead, and the battery indicator attached to the throttle is dead, but the key, which is hanging on to said throttle and indicator by two live wires, works! and unfortunately the previous owner never tested the pedal assist, which means: if you pedal, the motor will kick in and 'assist' you 1/2

We got a double-header for songs of the moment.

The first is Kriill - Green Jewels:
music.youtube.com/watch?v=sEWqdmKV7V4

This makes me feel a certain way. Cautious around some ppl >.>

2ndly: Maude Latour - Sugar Water:
music.youtube.com/watch?v=uivAACgxI3U

Funny how her name is one letter away from anagramming to "Modulator". Aside from some of the lyrics, the feeling it invokes is strangely nostalgic, and slightly poignant. I dunno; techno fried my brain in my teens and 20s 🤣

Song of the moment for me:

Maude Latour - Sugar Water
youtube.com/watch?v=uivAACgxI3U

I never heard of this artist, but she's good, at least this latest album is. the rest feel like she was trying to find her niche which was achieved with her Sugar Water album.

now, the content is just a tad eww coz spitting into mouths just seems icky, but the melody, sound, and style is just fantastic. Rhythmic feminine voices sounding authoritative and with that breathy texture.. somethin' about that. 😛

so upon having a premium streaming music service thanks to my pops hating ads on YT and wishing to provide for his children, my sisters and I have YT premium, and YTmusic comes with that.

This has changed my music listening since I have no idea how to come across new music, and my own tastes are all over the fuckin' place.
songs in my active listening list:
-Logic - Teleport
-BDG and Tom Cardy - Beautiful Mind
-Oh Land - Bucket List
-Rustage - (lots of his stuff)
-Kriill - Green Jewels

(see previous)
Barb sends a heartbeat to Archie per protocol, her voice slightly gravelly from yelling at the newcomers and general irritants.

Archie's face lights up as bright as the console, as those are the only lights on from his 30 hour cryo-nap on his longest galactic hop yet.

"Archie here, L-038. Hey Barb... you're lucky I wasn't dreaming about Plythos-3 again!"

"Barbara present, 17 20 33. Good to hear your voice, Arch. I'm utterly grateful about your dreams 🙄 "

etc etc. :)

I think I'd like to expand on that whole sci-fi thing I just spat out.

gruff, worn, yet still sweet long hauler, Archie Rashidian, classified for int-Gal level 5 transport, suited for such travels by various tests administered by 15 insurance companies, is a rare one.

Barb, senior dispatch of the logistics company, handles the "extreme" cases, those who are incapable of immediate responses due to FTL and such.
(next)

(see previous) It's nothing "special", but they have their banter and wisecracks, and for weeks at a time, it'll be the hauler's only connection to humanity, and as dispatch, it is up to her to send out "heartbeats" to her crew for delivery assurance.

The hauler, work-hardened, has a sweet spot, though wholly unadmitted to himself, for dispatch, and through a sequence of troubles that eventually resolve, the "story" would end on them learning each others' names.

Geez. that sprung tears.

I drink a lot less nowadays. but I still do. and I feel verbose AF.

PM Dawn was WAY underrated! Set adrift on memory bliss? child's play! The Ways of the wind!? far superior! The "The Bliss Album...?" is pretty fantastic.

I have this silly... I guess... almost fantasy? I guess a desire to see this in some sort of story: "Space trucker [cargo hauler vessel pilot, licensed for extreme distances, shares a special relationship with his dispatch, a woman who he only knows by voice, (see next)

scooter issue 1 resolved! well, not a scoot, but an ebike, but its a clown bike, a jetson bolt!

I did the simple thing everyone does and plug in a 48v into it directly, no other mods [it normally takes 36v] and it... runs. I need to make the brakes work and the drive wheel is rubbing hard against something. I hope it isn't itself. I have another motor, but it is a pain in the ass to get to :(

IT IS IN A BIN IN MY PATIO AND A CARD TABLE IS LEANING ON IT

executive dysfunction is too real. 😩

I still have a lot of misgivings about whether or not I'm autistic or not.

either I've had tonnes of hyperfixations over my life and thus that's why I'm good with words and my social scripts, math fascination, literal processing of instructions, etc, or I'm just arbitrarily weird and it is "normal"

I mean, I use words oddly so often, that I can only assume that it's an autistic-ism.

Kaiser is shit :)