@feloneouscat Who, me? Never!

@Shilohx I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about 😀

@Shilohx Will the next Papa Doc please stand up

My grandma started running 5 miles a day since the age of 60. She’s 83 today and none of us know where the dickens she is 😑

@DavidSalo Pretty sure I read something along these lines describing the self importance of an ant :)

What do you say to a cannibal who hates his mother-in-law?

"Well then try the potatoes."

Whenever I hear Ireland I picture a crowd of very irritated people on a patch of ground shaking their fists at me while I pass over in a hot air balloon

Sure she is, McDonald, sure she is

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship
“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

Told my bassist friend to name his band 999 Megabytes because I don't see them ever getting a gig.

@Hisabah Thank you. May there forever be peace (sigh)

I was told today that Taiwan produces like 95% of microchips in the whole world and should a war break out with China, we're fucked as a civilization?
How accurate is that?

Today's news from Russia: all males of "military age" are forbidden to leave the country. Those who already left were announced "traitors of the state". Putin's seat-warmer Medvedev make a public post in his Telegram channel calling for their assassination wherever they live and work now.

I'm not joking.

Han Solo showed up on Vader’s Death Star hours after Alderaan was destroyed. On his ship he carried: Vader’s son, Vader’s daughter, Vader’s astromech, his protocol droid he built as a kid, the wookie who saved Ahsoka’s life and literal Obi-Wan Kenobi back from the dead.

Vader must have been like “Who in the Mustafar is that fucker in the vest?”

Then a day later Han sneaks up on the greatest pilot the galaxy has seen in what is essentially a modded 18-wheeler and shoots Vader in the ass!

@hallmarc It was definitely on Netflix among those serial-killer series that I used to watch extensively to put my mind at ease and distract myself from the horrors of the war. Might have been the one on Billy Milligan, but I'm not sure.

"Mind boner" gives me a cringe shrinkage

A real boom of MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) diagnoses happened right after and around a shock investigation and trial of a serial killer some time in the 70s or 80s (I forget the name of the killer) who'd claimed to have been 'someone else' during the murders.

It took the courts a while to begin casting doubt and to stop accepting expert opinions as evidence, but ever since not a single case of MPD has been registered.

@nursefrombirth Conservative Alabama law makers among first in line to terminate unwanted pregnancies, study finds