@anniecoughlin
Some days I amaze myself, other days I put my keys in the fridge.

I'm all for the metric system but Fahrenheit makes so much more sense to me than Celsius, because its scale goes from 0 to 100, from 'Really Fucking Cold' to 'Melt Your Face Off Hot' in a utterly comprehensive way instead of the -20... +30 BS you get with Celsius

Russian TV dubs Zelensky "leader of U-ISIS", meaning that Ukraine is a terrorist state.

I tell you they are all vile disgusting maniacal assholes, the lot of them.

Defending one's country is "terrorism" to them. Invading another country is an act of heroism.

#RussiaIsAFascistState

they are CRAWLING

@Booga Rampant anything is a no good extreme, that's why we have laws to provide order.

Communist laws are designed almost exclusively to protect the ruling class and make them immune from any accountability or pressure from the public.

Laws in every successful capitalist country are aimed at maximizing state's AND businesses' accountability.

It's a world of difference.

@AllThatChaz It originates in Holland and are found in many stores across Europe. Don't know about America :)

Me, a smartass: Why does the 1000 Day Gouda have a 30 day use by date?

The Official Account of the Brand: "Cheeses are like people. Can live for a long time, but take the skin off and they starts going bad quickly."

Dr: Let's see how your reflexes are doing at year's end...

Me, a marketing guy at a big company:

The difference a hand makes

@Lena_Tasi @BlueStateBabe It can have a broader meaning if you like, sure.
That’s why it’s a good movie.
But first and foremost it’s satire directed at the covid deniers.

@BlueStateBabe Yes, that’s Musk.
The creators of the film said so somewhere

Took me a moment 😂

@AmberD1116 But… that’s my gym teacher

How to appear busy and avoid doing any work at the office:

- Arrive late and LOOK ANNOYED.
- Inquire about minor things while BEING ANNOYED..
- Make VERY ANNOYED sips from the coffee mug.
- Look at the computer monitor in an ANNOYED WAY.
- check phone messages while LOOKING ANNOYED.
- Leave early in a hurried and ANNOYED way.

I see trees of green

Green trees there too

I see the trees

And they are green

And I think to myself

I am lost in these wooooods

I read a story about a boy taking a girl to the movies and in the middle of the film says to her "Do you wanna kiss?" and when she said "EXCUSE ME?" he pulled out a handful of Hershey's Kisses and offered them to her, and I am forever grateful to him for this beautiful beautiful backup plan.