In 2018 I found my mother dead due to a several months post-surgery aneurysm, and my grandmother lost her mom at 11 due to an aneurysm after gallbladder surgery in 1916, and as soon as they started making noise about #Covid being a vascular disease and causing strokes I made the decision to mask in public for the rest of my life.
So there you have it.
I will always #mask. Forever.
I have chronic migraines.
Often they make me think - Is this one the stroke?
Nah. I'll keep masking.
Anyway - the point is that masking is to protect others more than yourself, and it's become very clear over the past few years that most people don't get that, and even if they do, they don't care.
THEY have to be "normal" again.
We're supposed to stay home and go insane and die.
You're damn right I'm bitter.
I will always be bitter.
@Shelter I’m so sorry. 💔
@Shelter we always go through life thinking we have it bad, but this breaks my heart. My dad died of an aneurism (I was there when it happened) when I was 8 and I’ve had debilitating migraine’s with auras my entire life it seems (4th grade), but that’s me. I feel with my own fears. When it comes to my kids, I DREAD the day one of them tells me about the kaleidoscope trails or darkness around the edges. Fuck THEM and fuck normal.
@Gambit_1
When I realized what the Eye Ghosts were my blood ran cold.
I don't wish this on anyone.
At 27 I got hauled into the ER because I was slurring my words and they gave me Toradol before my CAT scan and I laughed out loud.
I wish this on no one.
@Shelter I remember thinking I was going blind. I was only rushed in once but it turned out to be a panic attack because I didn’t know what was happening to me. Only time I’ve had one, but one was enough.
@Gambit_1 I finally learned that both my panic attacks and sometimes my migraines are heralded by a ringing in my left ear
Now I sit and wait for a migraine, and if it doesn't come I've headed off the panic attack.
It's handy.
@Shelter that’s awesome. I just wish it was something I could fight, instead of just waiting.
@Gambit_1
Word.
Sometimes I feel like being autistic and thirsting for these kinds of knowledge is a benefit.
Like I will absolutely sit in a curious fashion because I want to know, need to know, what happens next.
This is why I will be very disappointed if I die in my sleep.
@Shelter I tell people that my adhd is my superpower. It’s about leaning into who you are instead of fighting to be like everyone else.
I feel the same way about death. I know its going to come, but I want to be awake to face it. One last bit of knowledge.
@Shelter I agree, I also cut a pool noodle to put over shopping cart handles so I'm not picking up cooties and I may well do that forever too! Normal is a thing of the before times to me! I come from a brain tumor family history , a great uncle on dads' side then dad in 72 and me in '96 my early 20s and when my daughter was diagnosed with meningitis and a brain abcess on the 3rd anniversary of my surgery I did that "fall to your knees" thing right there in the waiting room!
*taking notes on pool noodles
i always saw the unmasked-and-angry-about-maskers-during-a-pandemic as performative ableism that society just accepted. the rage behind it was(is) so unhealthy and toxic in itself.
@peeppeepcircus @Shelter When I see a bunch of those types in the store I kind of laugh and envision a sci fi movie about mindless drones waiting for the hive mind to be activated!!
right? who needs zombies when we already have antimaskers. 😂
@peeppeepcircus @Shelter Exactly! And if it had been an actual Zombie virus you know they'd have been first in line for masks and vaccines !!!
@Tattoomonkey29 @peeppeepcircus
Still see a whole lot of good ol' boys wearing masks while on their riding mowers.
Which is very good!
But come on, folks.
@Shelter @Tattoomonkey29 @peeppeepcircus The guys wearing mask on mowers probably have an allergy.
@peeppeepcircus @Tattoomonkey29
Like I don't give a single F if anyone thinks I look foolish.
I want to live.
And honestly I could also do without Norovirus, too.
Or the Flu, since I am allergic to the Flu shot and they won't give me, or anyone, the intranasal live vaccine anymore.
oh yes and i LOVE not getting colds or flu anymore btw.
@peeppeepcircus @Tattoomonkey29
Yup.
I've had two allergy induced sinus infections since March of 2020 and that's it.
@peeppeepcircus @Tattoomonkey29
Hey guess what though?
I didn't get an allergy induced sinus infection in the Fall of 2020.
Just 2021 and 2022.
I wonder what was different in the air in 2020... 🤔
@Shelter @peeppeepcircus I haven't gotten sick since then either, nothing but a couple cases of actual food poisoning! I actually went out when the warnings about very first came out about pandemic and stocked up on thera flu type stuff, every now and then I open that drawer and giggle because I haven't had so much as a cold in years!! I wonder if less pollution led to more pollen from healthier trees/plants in those 2 years ,nature was pretty happy about that reprieve?!
@Shelter @peeppeepcircus I don't either and I'm almost immune to funny judgy looks because I have full sleeve tattoos!
@peeppeepcircus @Shelter ❤️ It also makes it easier to spot your cart and is super comfy on the hands ! I keep it in my car and just pop it on the handle :) I made a few for friends too ,they are even at the dollar stores !
@Shelter I love your son!! I will now being telling people that the eye ghosts are haunting me!! The first time I had an ocular migraine was about 19 years ago and I thought that either my brain tumor was back or that I was having an acid flashback! It was pretty scary until I got the CT back and saw an eyeball Dr!
@Tattoomonkey29
I get visual aura before most of my migraines and now I always call them Eye Ghosts.
@Shelter @Tattoomonkey29 I get ‘em too. Now I know what to call them, thanks!
@Shelter ❤️ I like that, mine seem to go through phases where they are more frequent like over the last 2 years after being maybe every 6 months or so.
@Tattoomonkey29
I don't intend to be rude, but are you going through menopause?
@Shelter Nope ,chemotherapy at 29 totally obliterated that !
@Shelter Also I have never had any pain, just some spectacular light shows and I am tired afterwards :) My daughter had migraines after meningitis at age 3 left scarring in her brain that even woke her from a sound sleep and were frequent but usually ended with her throwing up, I have only had one like that in my entire life and wouldn't wish that on anyone!
@Tattoomonkey29
Oh my goodness.
That poor kid
Here's what I do during the light show.
Find a glass.
Play basketball by dipping yourself up and down and side to side by sinking the lights into the glass.
@Shelter Yeah ,she's 27 and it is rarer but still brutal. And 😆 😆 I will be doing that for sure, even better is that recent ones are less often a rainbow prism swirl and kind of like a circular waffle shape! this will be fun :)
My 16yo started with abdominal migraines at 11 before the first noggin migraine a year ago.
A couple of years ago my younger son was sitting in a chair and said, "EYE GHOSTS!!!" and started swatting at the air in front of his face. So far no pain for him. Only ocular with aura.
Why would I ever want to tempt fate?