My child’s anxiety is extremely and personally soul-crushing. The intrusive thoughts are worries of abandonment or fears that I am an imposter. I feel so helpless and horrible and jealous of every mother who has never been asked by their own child if they are their real mom. 💔
In a dark fucking place.
@evistre the hardest is trying not to cry when she has asked it seven times in the last hour. Because if I even show even the slightest bit that it hurts my feelings it all spirals out of control.
@MotherDucker That's so hard to navigate :c big big big hugs.
Do you have access to a therapist or other type of counselor you can talk to about this stuff? They might be able to help you process and figure out how to best help kiddo. 🫂
@evistre she sees a therapist for CBT. She’s also intellectually advanced which seems to be equal parts blessing and curse. She is so damn smart but she can’t shut off her brain.
Breaks from school and routine are the hardest.
@MotherDucker I'm glad she has a therapist to lean on when she can!
You might benefit from one, too, though, at least while kiddo is going through this stuff. <3 :)
It hurts to see them suffer with anxiety and depression. But don't take it personally that she's asking if you're her real mom. That's normal development, when they're transitioning from thinking their parents are perfect, infallible, all-powerful to understanding that they are human. It's a big transition for a child.
@MotherDucker Please know many of us feel like inadequate moms. I feel this way OFTEN and my children are middle-aged adults. Take a deep breath and give yourself a TON of grace. Your child is lucky to be loved deeply. 🤗 🤗🤗
@MotherDucker Oh my. I hope you have access to counseling. I'm no medical expert but I have limited experience with a related situation. The teen in question voluntarily went on a low dose medication that helped ease them away from intrusive thoughts over a period of some months.
For your sake and theirs take this seriously and get professional help. And remember that what she's saying isn't coming from her. It's the condition talking. Carefully guide your child to get the aid they need. 💐
@danielbsmith she has been seeing a therapist for CBT and to a degree it has helped from where we started. But the worries always come back. Some nights worse than others.
@MotherDucker Counseling alone was not enough in the situation I am familiar with. It started with a medical doctor's referral to a counselor. After some visits a medication was offered and accepted. That extra push got the condition under control.
All told it was about 6-8 months of struggle until the counseling. (I feel your anguish.) Then a few more months before the medication. Then after 6 months basically no episodes.
It's scary but you can do it. The child will adapt and learn control.
@MotherDucker Every situation is different. I hope my story gives you hope and encouragement. You can find a way through this for your child. #Promise 🙏
Keep loving them. Keep taking them to counseling. Children are resilient. It's amazing what they can bear though it pains us to watch. Be strong. 💪
Oh my goodness, it sounds like you both need more support. Do you have support for yourself? Some therapists remain available outside of appt time - can you leave a call back request message with her therapist?
If I can offer support, I’m here for you.
@ATXJane I am fortunate that I can send a message to her therapist. I did on Friday because that was also a pretty rough day involving a lot of negative self-talk for her. Waiting on that response.
I do also have a therapist for myself. That excellent hospital employee health insurance is the reason why I’ll work there forever.
@MotherDucker I'm so sorry. Just sending hugs. 💔
Does it help to get your child outdoors with you? There is good energy out in the sun, wind, rain, on the grass, in the trees and wherever you can be in touch with Nature. Sending you and your little one love and light.
@MotherDucker big big big hugs 🫂
Remember to try to be gentle with yourself and with kiddo.