So, something happened yesterday.
What do you say to a friend who suddenly lost his brother in a crash?
In my experience, you can let them know you're there for them, and that there's nothing you can really say that will make much difference right away.
@0x56 I was in your shoes a couple years ago. Just listening, being a compassionate, sympathetic ear. I personally have a strong urge to try to fix even when the other’s pain might not be fixable. Rather than fix, I asked if there is anything I can do to help.
My friend asked for some advice and I offered some suggestions. He reached out a week later to tell me that those suggestions were very helpful.
That was my experience.
Sorry for your and their loss 💙
*hugs* to you both.
@0x56 oh sorry for his loss. That’s so sad. I’ll add my +1 to the “make yourself available and listen” comments. You will know what to do/say then.
@0x56 Just be there. Make it known that you're available and accessible. It's all there is, really.
@0x56 just spotted this post, my go to website is called Refugeingrief.com and is spilt into 2 sections. Part 1 is for the person who feels direct loss and part 2 is how to support someone who is experiencing unexpected grief.
The lady who runs the site also has books dealing with unexpected grief
@Mauve_matelot - thank you!
As others have said, being there for them is all you can do. But when people are grieving, they may not know how to or have the energy to reach out. So check in with them every few days.
If you can get together in person, have a coffee or a picnic or watch a movie. Someplace where y'all can just sit in a space together with no pressure to talk.
@tyghebright @0x56 Or, if they are knee deep in funeral arrangements, offer a store run on their behalf, or similar mundane tasks.
Sometimes a hug and understanding is good and enough. Let the grieving party dictate conversation paths if you are together.
@0x56
Just say "Stay Strong. I'm here for you if you need me. And, I'll be thinking of you until then."
@0x56 I’m terribly sorry IC.💜 sudden loss is such a tragic shock and comes with great pain. A listening ear and an arm around a shoulder oftentimes are the only consoling one needs when words are so difficult.