I'd like to start a conversation about mortality. I've been thinking a lot about my own lately for no particular reason I can discern. The feeling that comes upon me when I think of eventually no longer existing is one of absolute dread. It's not paralyzing but I have to actively push it out of my thoughts. I wonder, not jokingly, if this is the beginning of a "midlife crisis".

@hallmarc I may have some screws loose, but personally, I look forward to my end. I get depressed knowing that it's still so far away.

My life has been difficult. It got even worse when my gf passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. Now all I think about is wanting to hold her again.

I long for the day we'll be reunited.

For me, living without her is a curse.

I don't want to live to be in my seventies. I'm fine going much sooner.

@Gord02 I can only understand this from an intellectual perspective. I'm very sorry that you lost someone who kept you moving forward. I hope you find other things to help you enjoy life and perhaps change others' lives as well.

@hallmarc I do the best that I can to raise my teenage boys, but I still feel so empty inside. I no longer know what I'm looking for. All of the dreams I had are no longer the same.

I feel I just exist.

I try and fight it, but it all feels like wasted effort.

I still keep trying, like a fool, but I just never find what I'm looking for.

@Gord02 do you have any good friends from childhood or otherwise? In my case, I had those for the first half of my life and now most of my friends are those shared with my wife (hers first).