AMA about trans life from an out of the closet transmasc person! Fire away! Gonna keep this going until the 19th. #AMA #TransAwarenessWeek
@PaganMother
My 16 year old (she/they) born female has been feeling out their gender identity. As a cis mom in my early 50s, I may not understand everything, but I support that she understands how she feels. When she asked for a binder, I bought them two. When she asked for a tux instead of gown, no hesitation. She seems to be more gender fluid than trans, but not sure. Unfortunately, they got my busty genes, so sometimes she likes them, other times they annoy her (continued)
@Aja Ahhh, I am a bit on the busty side myself at the moment. I'm pre surgery trans, so I still kind of live as femme for the most part until that has been dealt with. I would recommend if their binding, to make sure they're correctly measured, and has a binder that's the correct size. This guide can help with choosing the right one. Binding isn't the only option for reducing the top side size however, there is also body tape, but this can be harder for larger femme tops. https://www.masstpc.org/what-we-do/gear/
@Aja A few tips I can give for them binding is to get and use body powder to make it a little easier to get the binder on and off, but not to wear it for longer than four hours at a time, and also to make absolutely sure they are wearing the right size. There can be a lot of physical damage if they are wearing the wrong size and it should be snug, and comfortable for them to wear. I know it's a hard adjustment for you, but I think you are doing a fantastic job with asking and learning. :)
@PaganMother ooh we didn't know about using body powder. I'll share that tip with them. Also I'll have to get them measured for a new one. Man kids grow so fast. We think we got the right size for the first two, but that's before she "blew up"😆 to a C.
As I said in the beginning, though, sometimes she prefers to be femme. Others she prefers to be masculine. Either way they're gorgeous.
Have you used corsets? They're asking for one but I'm a noob to them.
@PaganMother also they really want to wear the binder to school. So you're saying that's a bad idea? What if they went with a looser one? Or maybe a sports bra? Those usually tame mine
@PaganMother growing up is a hard adjustment. Growing up different in a society that's not terribly kind of accepting of different people is difficult. Especially in the Pandora's box we just opened last Tuesday. (The kids are so scared at their school. I hate this for them all). So my job is to enable them to find their true self, be happy with who that is, love themselves and be strong enough to face the world. My feelings don't really matter as much when I think about the burdens she has
@PaganMother I will say one thing, though. When I found out I was having a girl, I was stoked. She was my tummy buddy and we've been super close every day since. A nano part of me would be sad if she felt she had to have surgical transition. I don't know why. But I'm just being honest. Though I'd never say that to them. It doesn't impact how I feel about them one bit. I just can't figure out why it is.
@PaganMother yes she prefers She/They at the moment. She busted ass to get into a public School of the Arts high school here, so a lot of the uds in her friend groups are LGBTQ+. Like I said, I'm not a young mom, so I mess up sometimes, but I do try really hard to use everyone's preferred pronouns. They're all just phenomenal kids
@Aja Have you asked them about what pronouns they prefer, or if they have any consideration for hormone blockers, or surgery in the future to conform to their gender preference in identity?