Can a 40 year old professional with ADHD reasonably expect to correct his inability to be on time for nearly everything? Literally asking for a friend. He’s especially bad at getting out of the house in the morning.
I have no experience with this. I’m neurotic about being on time if not early.
@Jeber - my husband is ADHD and late for everything. He has been thus for the 23 years we have been together despite period outbreaks of self-improvement. Given that ADHD has a neurological component and affects time sense I sincerely doubt he will ever change that aspect of his persona.
@Jeber I have ADHD and struggle with time management. My condition is not totally in my control. People have been awful to me over the symptoms. So I'd say getting mad at him for his struggle would be like getting mad at someone with a broken leg to just get up and walk.
@Kwitfollowingme_2_point_0
He has additional issues, like sometimes being late to court and almost daily not getting his son to school on time. But it all comes back to, as you say, time management.
@Jeber time management difficulties are a symptom of this neurological condition. I know from experience people getting upset with me only makes the situation worse because anxiety can freeze us. it's not easy having ADHD.
Depends on a lot of factors. If they've known they have ADHD for a long time, then they've likely tried many strategies to help manage their symptoms.
If they were diagnosed in adulthood, especially if it was in the past few years, they may be still trying different strategies and they might find some that help. For me, a bullet journal, and putting EVERYTHING in my calendar, plus alarms for some items... kinda helps.
@tyghebright
He’s known for a while but I don’t know how long. He takes meds and sees a shrink, but I don’t see any positive results.
It's tough because for many folks with ADHD, our brains just don't process time the same way neurotypical brains do.
@tyghebright
His issues and mine are polar opposites. I have OCD and some other issues. When it comes to organizing and time management, we couldn’t be more different.
That's a difficult combination to navigate!
@tyghebright
You’re right.
It’s frustrating and the reason we aren’t better friends. He’s an ok guy in most ways. I try to tolerate it if for no other reason that I have stumbled into a pretty sweet deal here, and that’s worth more to me than his tardiness. I only get irritated when he’s running late and presumes I’ll watch his son. My lack of a life is a liability.
@Jeber @tyghebright it's also possible he's struggling with executive disfunction. It's really common with ADHD adults.
The watching his son is too much. I would definitely get upset about that. What happens if you genuinely can't?
@tyghebright
He has other options but I’m his 1st. If I can’t I tell him.
I’ve become quite selfish in my old age. I always come first. 😉
@Jeber I know nothing about ADHD but it sounds like they need to make a list of things they must do to get out of the house in the morning and then stick to it. I find a plan is helpful to keep from getting distracted.