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I don't have the most uh... comfortable relationship with my parents. There's a lot of history there.

Yesterday I mentioned in a family chat that I'd qualified for mortgage pre-approval & am looking to buy a house, woo!

Sibling already gave their congrats. Parents didn't say a word.

Not a congratulations, or "cool!", or advice, or encouragement, or even criticism - they didn't respond *at all*.

& I know they were on the chat bc I'd just wrapped up a convo about my mom's health.

I excuse it away as dad being preoccupied w/mom's health (she has Parkinson's & he's her primary caregiver), but this isn't really a surprise. Usually they'd tell me all about how I'll fail. I'm almost grateful neither of them has the energy or focus to tear me down for once.

What isn't surprising is the lack of support. I learned years ago that I just wouldn't have it from them, regardless.

@Impious_Jade Relatable. So sorry they can’t embrace this major life event for you! Feel you on this.

@Impious_Jade Hope you & your subs can relate about it. My brother and cousins refer to the “benign neglect” we experienced. Better than some alternatives, but not very comforting overall. CONGRATULATIONS!💫👏🏻🥳🥂

@LPH6 Yeah me & sib are allllll on the same page when it comes to our parents' uh... "parenting". TY for the congrats! I just have to save/raise $$ for the down payment.

@Impious_Jade Glad you have someone who “gets it”…so hard to put the “parenting” needs that weren’t met behind us.

@LPH6 Thanks - me too. I was fortunate to have grandparents who parented me, but they died in the late 90s. Sometimes I think of them & think of how they'd respond to something like this & it helps.

@Impious_Jade my grandmothers were my saviors providing the unconditional love my parents fell short on mustering. It does help!

@Impious_Jade I understand this kind of not so comfortable relationship all too well (although mine would DEFINITELY have criticized 🤪). I'm sorry, it's not easy.

@PurpleEggsNHam Yeah sometimes it's hard understanding that you didn't really have proper parenting parents. I'm sorry yours were like that, in whatever way they were.

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