I don't have the most uh... comfortable relationship with my parents. There's a lot of history there.
Yesterday I mentioned in a family chat that I'd qualified for mortgage pre-approval & am looking to buy a house, woo!
Sibling already gave their congrats. Parents didn't say a word.
Not a congratulations, or "cool!", or advice, or encouragement, or even criticism - they didn't respond *at all*.
& I know they were on the chat bc I'd just wrapped up a convo about my mom's health.
What isn't surprising is the lack of support. I learned years ago that I just wouldn't have it from them, regardless.
@Impious_Jade Hope you & your subs can relate about it. My brother and cousins refer to the “benign neglect” we experienced. Better than some alternatives, but not very comforting overall. CONGRATULATIONS!💫👏🏻🥳🥂
@LPH6 Yeah me & sib are allllll on the same page when it comes to our parents' uh... "parenting". TY for the congrats! I just have to save/raise $$ for the down payment.
@Impious_Jade Glad you have someone who “gets it”…so hard to put the “parenting” needs that weren’t met behind us.
@LPH6 Thanks - me too. I was fortunate to have grandparents who parented me, but they died in the late 90s. Sometimes I think of them & think of how they'd respond to something like this & it helps.
@Impious_Jade my grandmothers were my saviors providing the unconditional love my parents fell short on mustering. It does help!
I excuse it away as dad being preoccupied w/mom's health (she has Parkinson's & he's her primary caregiver), but this isn't really a surprise. Usually they'd tell me all about how I'll fail. I'm almost grateful neither of them has the energy or focus to tear me down for once.