Holy shit I think I'm actually growing some self esteem.
@tippitiwichet If you don't mind me asking, how? Cause I got nothing🤷♀️
@Kaysymmetry @Ironworker229 Tons of mindfulness and this journal thing I've organized notes on de-escalation and street epistemology, etc. In part because I have massive social anxiety that can trigger my dystonia spasms, which is embarrassing and interrupts communication, and gets worse when I'm flustered with irritation at people being assholes. One of the people I wanted to communicate with was my emotionally abusive partner that I just split from after I earned a stay on the psych ward.
@Kaysymmetry @Ironworker229 He used generosity to show what a nice guy he was over Christmas, and he can indeed be. He has untreated trauma and addiction issues. He has been using my compassion to ignore my boundaries. I have PTSD, do not ignore my boundaries. Anyway, I edited our last argument into one super long screenshot to talk to my shrink about and I was embarrassed at losing my temper. I've been scanning it for signs of bias, and I'm realizing I showed a lot of skill and kept my cool.