Woke up freezing this morning. It reminded me of my childhood. We weren't as poor as some others but using the heat was always like a huge issue ... an expense. We bundled up a lot of the time or used the fireplace which was on the opposite side of the house from my room. I remember going to bed cold and waking up cold and just hating that feeling. Like going to sleep with my stomach growling ... come to think of it that's probably the earliest I began considering food an afterthought.
@homebird Yeah its getting time to vacuum these vents and start using the heat I think ... the weather has been so up and down though ... last week it was like in the 80s 😂
@thewebrecluse Ikr! But I was looking at the forecast just now, and the temperatures are going to fall fast in the next week or so. I've managed without the heating on so far (had it on for one hour one day), but I think we are getting to that point where it's just too cold to be healthy.
@thewebrecluse I feel this. My brother and I used to wear hats/mittens/socks to bed. Turning up the heat WAS a big issue. lol
@mistressticia I remember those kinds of nights as well. I'm sitting here wearing a hoodie and thinking WTF am I doing. I have heat I can turn on ... it was just my first engrained instinct to "bundle up" instead. I hate when that trauma eeks up without me recognizing it fast enough.
@thewebrecluse @mistressticia
I've done the same thing. I still do wait until what seems like the last minute before using the heat sometimes, same with the air.
I'm sitting here in warm socks and slippers, in a very mild early winter, feeling grateful I have those things, and friends. 💜 But we do deserve good things and comfort!
@janallmac @mistressticia Right I think that word is so key ... deserve. Somewhere it becomes this thing you deserve as opposed to a necessity. Growing up financial strained everything is a luxury even something like heat ... which is just ... f-ed up. So then it turns into something we have to convince ourselves we really need instead of wrapping ourselves up in tons of layers and shivering. God how ridiculous.
@thewebrecluse You are right. :-) @janallmac
Oh
It just hit me. I did that, didn't I? With "deserve".
Yeah, heat is not a luxury. Not when it's 23° outside.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was thinking that. 😟 I didn't even mean to.
@janallmac I wasn't offended. And thoroughly enjoyed this early morning convo.🙂 @thewebrecluse
@mistressticia @thewebrecluse
Me too, I enjoyed it! I hope you all did. I was just thinking about, it and realized how I was thinking without even realizing it. 🤯
@mistressticia @janallmac yeah zero offense taken. I didn't see it like that at all. The word deserve is pretty interesting and just made me make those connections like how we "deserve" something that should be something we "need". It was a good talk ❤️
@thewebrecluse Exactly this!! I think more of us feel this way than not. @janallmac
@janallmac @thewebrecluse I can relate. I'm the same way. I do turn the heat/air up if I need it though. lol It's like you have to remind yourself, "I'm the adult now".😆
@mistressticia @janallmac EXACTLY 😆 Those automatic responses just piss me off ❤️
@thewebrecluse similar childhood. I sure can relate. Followed.
@thewebrecluse
Morning 💜 Waking on a cold winter morning after the coal heat had dwindled to a low just enough to keep pipes from freezing, meant a rush to the coal bin to shovel into the furnace. The warmth of the heavy blankets and quilts was cozy but hitting the floor barefoot woke one in a hurry.
@CherNohio For us it was going to get wood from behind the house ... hated that wood ... hated spiders, hated snakes, hated having to strain my body before my eyes were even open. Not fond memories.
@thewebrecluse
My grandparents had a wood stove in the living room which had to heat the entire upstairs and it didn't do it very well. We would prepare them properly for the winter and have the wood available for them nearby to retrieve. I, too, remember the surprises between the logs. I never really thought about it much, it just was what it was. Being a farm girl, it didn't bother me.
@CherNohio I am so far from a farm anything 😂 I envy you ❤️
@thewebrecluse
It put hair on one's chest lol
@CherNohio But do I need MORE? 😂
@thewebrecluse
Damn, I walked into that one! 🤣
@thewebrecluse That's the effect food insecurity had on me. I'm working on fixing my disordered eating.
Enjoy that heat.
@CheekyGinger disordered eating is a journey and always a work in progress for me ❤️ feels like of endless but we do what we gotta do 👍🏾 ❤️
@thewebrecluse Yes it is. I'm making more progress than on some things but I'm still thankful for the people who ask me "when's the last time you ate?"
@CheekyGinger ohhh I know that feeling well. I posted about this the other day
https://counter.social/@thewebrecluse/109320643439219090
It's really really great to have understanding support. Often you really do need that nudge. ❤️
@thewebrecluse We were not poor, but we lived with my depression era grandmother for several years while my dad was deployed. If you were showing signs of frostbite, she'd hand you another blanket and tell you to move closer to the fireplace. I have never shaken the feeling of guilt when turning on the heat.
@thewebrecluse Same this morning. Stuck my arm out of the duvet, and thought to myself, "yep, chilly this morning!" I fully expected to see ice on the inside of the windows!