Dumping out my bag.
Yesterday was BAD.
I finally admitted how bad and dialed 988. I've scheduled the next full week off work. I'm going to the behavioral place today in about an hour to ask for help.
I don't know what's wrong with me and why am I this way but it has to change.
Done. Intaken and scheduled for therapy and psychiatric appraisal next week.
Heads up, if you are broken in the town you grew up in then the people fixing you will probably know you from your youth. Just saying.
I have been seen both naked and in tears by peeps who would never have seen that in high school.
😆
I'm still hanging in there.
Poor word choice.
I'm still trucking. 😃
Don't be sorry for the drama.
It is a good thing you are acknowledging that it is time for some help.
That can be the hardest part!
Good on you.
@chromogirl Thanks. Really. Life is just so fuxking hard for everyone. Adding to anyone's troubles just makes me feel worse. That spiral.
i hear you.
but you can't pour from an empty cup (or something like that).
i discovered that investing in my own infrastructure is the ONLY way to help hold other people up. for real.
Well said !
@LnzyHou @chromogirl I tell people that all the time too. Then think that I'm doing it myself while really just ignoring I guess. It's so deeply rooted that I can't cry without feeling guilt and shame.
it is super challenging to overcome those conceptions of "weakness" that get instilled in us.
but who doesn't love a challenge!
@chromogirl @LnzyHou
My wife and I were talking about how I was crying over my grandmother dying which was ironic since she was the one who literally beat the tears out of me as a child.
"Do you want something to cry about?"
"Tears are emotional manipulation. Stop now."
Everything about life is ironic.
@LnzyHou @chromogirl
Except for that song.
Lol
I needed that. Thanks.
Cry your eyes out. Nothing more cathartic 💦
@LnzyHou @chromogirl
Whoever I see today...I already feel badly for.
!!
you mean the professional therapist who has a calling to help people??
@chromogirl @LnzyHou
I told you. This guilt is deep!
I apologize to my surgeons.
I’m sorry you hit such a low point but also so grateful you used resources to get through it and will pursue more today 🙏
Please don’t apologize for sharing the struggle—it’s not drama, it’s real, and your disclosure may help and inspire others to care for themselves wisely also.
Sending empathy and encouragement 💜
@testamonk Glad you are getting help. Being willing to ask for it is often a huge step. Congratulations!
@PrChrisHarbin
Thanks. I really need the help this time.
@testamonk You are courageous. Thank you for sharing your journey here.
@NiveusLepus
Thanks for saying that. I mean, well, honestly I don't know what I mean except thank you!
@testamonk You're welcome. The journey you are on is not easy, it's a very hard thing, but it is worthwhile.
We can get comfortable with being miserable and let that keep us from working towards our own happiness.
I'm cheering you on all the way. ^_^
Registered and waiting