Divorce sucks....that's it, that's the toot 😞
@MarvelousMadi13 Totally agree. Ours was amicable. I wish we could go back to what was, but right now I can't even support myself.
@poemblaze ours has not been amicable unfortunately. I made a few mistakes regarding my transition and how I went about it. I'm hoping at some point we can be amicable
@MarvelousMadi13 @poemblaze
I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Whether amicable or not so kind, it's a devastating thing (for most anyway).😞
While my divorce was amicable, it was anything but painless for me and almost 20 yrs later it still hurts.
*hugs*
@see_the_sus @poemblaze thanks, hopefully the pain gets a little better in time
I liken divorce to the death of a loved one. Not only can it cause rifts between people but the emotions come in waves throughout life.
I am getting less, how to say, using him in a sentence? Like, for years when I would talk about past stuff where he was involved, I would say, "My ex and I." But I began to realize that I don't have to include him in the story. I can just tell people, "I moved to NY after college," instead of "He and I moved..."
@poemblaze @see_the_sus I feel the same way
@poemblaze Mind if I ask how long you were married & when the divorce was?
@MarvelousMadi13
@see_the_sus @poemblaze we were married for almost 11 years but together the almost 13. We are still going through it now, we are in mediation but I need to try and figure finances before we finalize it
Remember to give yourself love and hugs. We're all human and imperfect.
You might be interested in reading this book, it helped me a lot as my marriage was imploding, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.
It's a very small book & at first, its advice can seem simplistic, but for me, as I grasped the deep meaning of each agreement, it was like a lightbulb exploded. I try to re-read it every year.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6596.The_Four_Agreements
I have to run off now but I'll check in periodically throughout the day.
Hugs a plenty for you both! ♥️ ♥️
@see_the_sus @poemblaze thanks, I appreciate it!!!
@see_the_sus @poemblaze thanks, I'll def take a look at that. I'm trying to he nice to myself, just not easy at times
@MarvelousMadi13 @poemblaze
I just learned how to find "old" convos. I've been losing track of conversations, especially when I go to bed and wake up because the Notifications column only go so far back.
How are you feeling today?
@see_the_sus @poemblaze how is that exactly? I've been ok, I'm trying get my head out of my you know what and focus on the important things right now
@MarvelousMadi13 @poemblaze
If you go to your profile and click on "Posts and Replies" it'll show everything.
Sending you calm vibes for your day.
@see_the_sus @poemblaze ahhh awesome 😃 thanks for the help 😃
@see_the_sus @MarvelousMadi13 Married 9 years. Divorced 21 years.
@poemblaze @see_the_sus sorry to hear that 😞
@see_the_sus @poemblaze we have 3 young kids which makes things much more difficult
😞 yeah, sadly that can add to the pain.
I used to have a friend in Denver whose father transitioned to female while still married and she, my friend, was in her 20s. Her parents divorced soon after.
We kept in touch off and on after I moved away from CO & I remember it took her a number of years to fully understand and accept the impact both events had had on her life, but eventually the three of them were able to repair their relationships.
@see_the_sus @poemblaze my kids are all 9 and younger. My oldest son far has been accepting which has been nice. Everyone has told me having kids younger is generally better with transition
@see_the_sus @MarvelousMadi13 Probably not healthy, but I still consider her my wife. I'm not going to remarry. She was the right person. I was an ass.