(At Hadrian's Wall)
Roman soldier: "Centurion, there's a problem."
Centurion: "What is it?"
Roman soldier: "It's these painted guys keep showing up, they draw a cock on the wall and run back off north."
Centurion: "Urgh, unsolicited Pict dicks."
You gotta love woad warriors.
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@misterfive If they drew cocks on the Romans' prepared fireplaces, it'd be Pict dicks on tinder.