(At Hadrian's Wall)
Roman soldier: "Centurion, there's a problem."
Centurion: "What is it?"
Roman soldier: "It's these painted guys keep showing up, they draw a cock on the wall and run back off north."
Centurion: "Urgh, unsolicited Pict dicks."
@misterfive Was it a Roman woad?
@misterfive If they drew cocks on the Romans' prepared fireplaces, it'd be Pict dicks on tinder.
@peemee
You gotta love woad warriors.