Did you hear about the pharmacist who tripped on the omega 3 capsules?
He's okay. He only has super fish oil injuries.
I totally forgot I had these super cute, barely worn Sam Edelman Penny loafers, which were barely worn because they didn’t work with my bunions. BUT today I remembered them and discovered that they fit great on my foot that has had surgery! I’m so glad I didn’t get rid of them. They’ll be even better next year after my other foot is fixed too. Small victories 🩵
My favourite video game hench-people are the ones who listen to 30 seconds of explosions and gunfire off in the distance, then proceed to forget about it a minute later.
#videogames #CoSoGaming
This morning, my dog was giving me his usual good-morning headbutts and cuddles, and he reared back and sneezed violently, and bashed my nose with his skull. The bridge of my nose has been tender all day and I found dried blood on my septum ring a few hours after it happened, so that's fun. To his credit he was very sorry and gave me kisses when he realized I was hurt.
I hate fireworks, and while I am a bit of a curmudgeon, that isn’t the reason. The reason is that my dog is absolutely terrified of them and shakes all over and wants me to sit on the bathroom floor and hide with him until the scary noises stop. So today I’m sending out a heartfelt fuck you to all the people who ignored city ordinances and shot off fireworks in city limits last night. If you don’t care about dogs and cats, at least consider the veterans you may be triggering.
@MotherDucker
Some people don't know that today will be their last day with 10 fingers
funded by the increased taxes on billionaires 👍🏼
Thinking about how people become political candidates in America in 2024, there's clearly no barrier with regard to intelligence or ability, only financial resources. We need full public funding for political campaigns, to ensure that not only rich people can run for office ESPECIALLY given that people who are very rich have usually not arrived there by having the kind of character that would make them trustworthy with political power.
@lemontart A man is visiting the soviet union from the US. A soviet citizen asks "What do you have in America that we don't?"
The American says "Well, in my country, I can call my president an asshole, and get away with it!"
The Soviet says "How is that special? We're allowed to call your president an asshole any time we want, too!"
Office drone | feminist | she/her
I like knitting, caffeine, and horror movies. Send me pictures of your dog please.