(I’ve also found a few jokes making fun of specific Soviet figures or incidents, but I don’t know enough Soviet history to get most of them unfortunately. Some of them are still funny anyway.)

2 of 2:
After a while, they meet again.
- So, how's capitalist hell?
- Great, I eat a bucket of shit every morning and then I can do whatever I want. How is the communist hell?
- As per usual: half of the time they've run out of shit and the other half there aren’t enough buckets.

1 of 2: A Russian and an American die. The devil asks them if they want to go to the capitalist hell or communist hell. They ask what's the difference. The devil says you have to eat one bucket of shit every morning in the capitalist hell and two buckets in the communist hell. The American chooses the capitalist hell, but the Russian chooses the communist hell.

A man in the Soviet Union wants to fix his car so he visits a mechanic shop. They tell him the car will be ready and delivered in 8 years, on the 5th of June. He nods understandingly. He then asks when on the 5th of June it will be delivered. The mechanic is confused and asks why he cares. It will be many years until then, why bother with time of day? The man says, "Well, I have a plumber coming on the same day.”

A top member of the politburo visits a school. The teacher and the commissar stand in front of the kids with pictures of Lenin and Brezhnev.

The teacher asks the kids what country has the best food. The kids shout, “The Soviet Union!” What country has the most freedom? “The Soviet Union!” What country has the best toys! “The Soviet Union!” Then they see a kid crying in the back of the class. The teacher asks, “Mishka, why are you crying?" Mishka says, “I want to live in this Soviet Union.”

Rewatching Chernobyl and looking up old Soviet jokes on the internet because of this one told in the show:

What’s as big as a house, burns 20 liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shitload of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces?

A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces.

I have a pet peeve about grown women using the word “yummy” to describe yarn or attractive people. I don’t know precisely why, I just hate it.

Hurricane season is starting with a bang this year. Tropical Storm Beryl is forecast to become a hurricane tomorrow as it heads across the Atlantic towards the Gulf. If it does, this will be the earliest a hurricane has formed this far east in the Atlantic, breaking a record set in 1933. So I love that for us.

My toenail started growing again 🥳

So fun cleaning snot off my septum with a q-tip after I eat spicy food 🙃 but I don’t mind, I still love it and it makes me happy and I’m glad I did it. I can’t wait to change out the jewelry. My fancy shiny gold and opal clicker gets here tomorrow and it should only be another week or two before I can wear it!

Last time we were there, we saw three different techs. One was unable to draw blood from our cat (not the IBD cat) and had to go get someone more experienced to do it, and another had to be reminded by the doctor about how to hold a cat down during the physical examination. So it seems like they’re having issues with retaining skilled technicians.

They care for our dog and two other cats as well and we haven’t had any problems with their care, but they are all in good health. I did notice that they seem to have significant turnover in techs and desk staff. And the most competent tech is now the office manager instead.

Seeking opinions to settle a disagreement between myself and husband:
One of our cats has IBD. She has to get her anal glands expressed monthly and it’s difficult to schedule the next one at checkout because they only have one tech who can manage our cat. Also, she needs prescription food and this is the second time in a row I’ve waited a week and the online pharmacy request still hasn’t been approved. Last time I had to call and then wait another 3 days. Is dropping this vet overreacting?

Update: it’s dry and I think the size is okay so I can keep going!

I had to stop knitting my sweater so I could wet block and make sure it will grow enough before I do more because it just looked so small… but now I have to wait for it to dry and I hate waiting reeeee

OK so I did try to contact my piercer today, but she’s actually out of town. Pro tip: if you have fine gauge internally threaded jewelry and you can’t get the end to screw in, ball up some duct tape, stick it on a toothpick, and stick the ball to the tape with the threaded part sticking up. Then you can turn the toothpick to screw it in.