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No one ever called the original Road House a thinking man’s action flick, but they might now thanks to this dumbed-down remake. Think about that for a second. Think about what it entails to dumb down fucking Road House — and somehow they did it; a lot of people get socked in the face in this movie, but it’s the filmmakers who seem to have been punch-drunk.

ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.

@jprr who asked for this remake? Why not remake Ishtar?

@jprr

I've seen Road House because Patrick Swayze, shirtless and sweaty, was a must see in '89.

Jake Gyllenhaal is no Patrick Swayze and I wouldn't give any portion of a ticket price to Conor McGregor, so I do not feel any compulsion to see the remake.

I do appreciate that it's apparently terrible.

@jprr I'm convinced the script was written by an A.I. Hell, if they were getting the fight scenes from a computer, might as well get the script from one too.

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