@Museek I’m GenX as is my younger brother so see the dark humour for sure. My parents are Silent Generation; my 5 older siblings are Boomers. It could be a rough house. Definitely cemented for me never to have my child live in hyper-vigilance or fear. Not excusing it, but my parents didn’t get parenting guidance except the Church, not a great model back then. Mom had a Paddle Drawer and 2 strikes rule. Dad, veteran and doctor, would sometimes just lash out. School used closets & the Jesus Seat.
@JGSchaeffer agree.. I didn’t bring up my kids with any form of punishment we grew up with. It was time-outs, all the way. I also didn’t bring them up with television because I found it too violent and I think they’re better off for it. They do assert their opinions, strongly on various matters and I do listen to them but also tire of the occasional sass without experience to back it up.
@Museek @JGSchaeffer I did the exact same thing - my kids got put in a time out and lost a privilege for the day as well as we'd sit down and talk to them about the situation, whereas I'd get the belt and sent to bed with no supper :(
@JGSchaeffer @duglop @Museek
It helps to verbalize what they're feeling. They are as upset about their inability to control their anger as anyone else. They're afraid they will kill their parents. Time out was to give them time to get their anger or excitement under control. They would call downstairs, "I'm calm now" and time out was over.
Once when my son's younger cousin was losing his shit over something, I heard my son recommending time out to him. "You should try it. It really helps."
@duglop @Museek Yes, with Tall J, now just turned 18, a few things I did:
- as a 2-3yo, when he hit me or flailed, as boy toddlers do with their first bursts of testosterone, I’d uncurl his fists, pick him up, and rock him.
- If he was having a rage, I’d let him know he gave me an owie and he’d get the time out chair.
- When he came back, he had to explain why he was sitting there and what could he do differently
- used variants on that as he grew