I am literally begging people to stop using that dumpster fire of a platform

CUT MY GLOVE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY DAVENPORT
FUCK A CUSHION
NO COVER
DON'T NEED A GIRL CAUSE THE SOFA'S MY LOVER
--Papa Couch

the Texas Tribune asked for my thoughts on the election. this is what I had to say

WE HAVE AN HIV VACCINE?!?

first of all, if your party has to be asked to stop being racist, maybe your party is the bad guys?

second, he wasn't exactly criticized for "saying she has no kids." that's true. he was criticized for saying that *because* she has no kids she's a miserable crazy cat lady who wants the rest of the country to be miserable. subtle difference.

oof that thumbnail kinda says it all, huh?

what i sent to the NYT morning newsletter before unsubscribing from that rag

okay that's... no, that is not what a hierarchical world is. a hierarchical world is means that PEOPLE are divided into ranks and some ranks are superior to or supercede others, like the organizational structure of a corporation. you've got the executives at the top, making all the decisions, the middle management carrying out orders, and the grunts at the bottom doing all the work. that's how conservatives view the whole world.

LE TANKIE REDDITOR: "liberals are right of center!"

ME: no they're not. [provides citation from scientific american]

LE TANKIE REDDITOR: "yes they are because capitalism!"

🤦‍♀️

in case anyone's wondering why I haven't been reacting to headlines lately

I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU TO STOP DOING THIS

NYT once again both-sidesing "is old" with "is nearly as old and also racist and sexist and obsessed with nukes and a pedophile rapist in love with his own daughter and an aspiring dictator who attempted a coup and plans to dismantle our entire system of government"

she WOULD be the logical choice, if America was a logical country, but we're not. you would literally be better off replacing Biden with Hillary Clinton, and we already know how that race pans out.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "DEVASTATED," JOE. DEMOCRACY HANGS IN THE BALANCE, REMEMBER?

also "goodest job"? come in, man... 🤦‍♀️

Jonathan Decker's accountability kink just activated

the fact that I already know none of those 6 columnists will agree on a single candidate (much less one the rest of the electorate will get behind) is exactly the fucking problem with trying to force Biden out at this stage. either start planning this as soon as he's sworn in, or don't bother.

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE NEWS. YOU ARE THE ONES DOING THIS. STOP BEING THE FUCKING SPIDER-MAN MEME POINTING OUT HOW YOU ARE TURNING POLITICS INTO A CIRCUS AND THREATENING THE VERY EXISTENCE OF DEMOCRACY.

because they're fucking idiots who have forgotten their history lessons from the last time we did this 80 years ago?

make this make sense

no, I'm not fucking celebrating this weekend. maybe you have some tips on avoiding the slow descent into autocracy or how to impress upon people that not giving power to a fascist conman is a wee bit more important than whether the president was mumbly at a debate?