@normsmusic As to your other points, yes, God wants obedience but it's because He loves us and knows best. Many of the things He tells us to do or avoid will harm us in some way.
Praise isn't the same though. He desires this but He does not demand it. A person who loves God will naturally praise Him. Praise must be sincere.
@normsmusic Your last point though is completely wrong. God takes no pleasure in "smiting" people or sending them to hell. Hell wasn't even made for humans but those of us that reject God have to be placed somewhere. Hell was actually prepared for Satan and his fallen angel followers.
You see God as an angry judge because you intuitively understand morality and that you fall short of God's expectations. When we accept this and ask God for forgiveness He is faithful to save us.
@normsmusic I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "slathering". If I'm correct then you just need to understand not everyone is like that. Find a place to worship that suits you.