The most annoying bad habit in trying to help people.
To slightly rephrase: the most annoying habit is to not ask people if they want help before just offering it—and trust me on this—it is really fucking annoying to the person you’re theoretically trying to help.
A great tool for dealing with this annoying habit. Wait until your friend is done telling their story and then ask them “Are you venting or looking for advice?”
@corlin This is true for people we may know; however, a stranger might be in need of something and doesn't know how or are afraid to ask. Over the years, there have been strangers, usually pan handling, and after assessing my/their safety, I'll ask, "Is there something specific you need?" They'll tell me. I give them a dollar and come back with what they said they need: meal, water, socks, shoes, sleeping bag, groceries ...
It is asking people, but as you mentioned, it's how to ask that counts.
Great point !
Agreed
@corlin
Listening without comment, followed by “what can I do to help?” works for me.