I’m tired of explaining my motives to people who don’t “get” altruism. When pressed by a friend on whether I’d bought a ticket for a car raffle as we had last year, I said, “no, all my money is focused on helping #Ukraine.” “Why?”, he asked. “Do you have family there?”. “No”, I said, to his bafflement. Yesterday, I told the guy taking my blood donation that I was a 3rd generation donor. He asked, “Did someone in your family need blood?” “No”, I explained “Nobody.” Is everyone that self serving?
@cassandra17lina
You're not alone. I've given blood i every state I've lived in (of them) but have never needed blood myself. I was raised by an RN, so we were all taught to be altruistic, just as you are.
#WalkingAMileInAnotherPersonsMoccasins
#ItTakesAVillage
@TheEyeOfBalor Thanks. I’ve done the same in MA, NH, TX, and NC. It does take a village. My parents did a lot for others, and I thought that everyone else had the same sort of upbringing. Guess again. #CoSo is blessedly full of people who “get it” and I love the interactions!
@cassandra17lina A shocking amount of people never develop any empathy for others outside of their 'group'.
It takes something bad happening to them or their loved ones to get them to give a damn, and even then - they often don't. Hell, my husbands family claims to be supportive of him, and then donate large sums of cash and vote for the very people wanting to take away his freedom to transition.
Humans who actually emotionally develop generally have empathy for everyone.
@mouses Thanks for sharing your perspective. I agree. I thought that my upbringing was overly strict, but my parents were both very altruistic, and what a great gift that has been.
@cassandra17lina That's great!
I had some pretty bad family growing up, but oddly enough - later in life they became the most amazing kind people ever.
My step-dad (who I consider my father, he was more of a dad to me than my sperm donor ever was) went from an abusive transphobic asshole to a kind man who literally hangs out at a LGBTQ+ coffee shop bragging about his daughter and having conversations with others to try to understand things better.
My gift came late, but it's a gift!
@mouses I’ve been married twice, and my happiness has all been recent (the last 25 years). There’s much to be said for “front loading” life’s misery!
@cassandra17lina Heck yes! Get the hard stuff over with first.
@cassandra17lina i can understand the exhaustion of explaining:)
altho, i don't read those q's as not 'getting' altruism. in the situations you describe, i think people are looking for why you care. & that can be powerful to share w/ people b/c it helps them w/ their own empathy & understanding. or they're trying to form a connection or reinforce connections to you & what motivates/inspires you.
ofc, it's a form of emotional labour & you're under no obligation to give it.
& yay you :)
@singlemaltgirl thanks for your thought provoking response. Plenty there to ponder, and I appreciate the perspective.
@cassandra17lina My aunt was a Red Cross volunteer and made sure my entire family gave blood every time the clinic showed up. I continued the tradition for years. Until the changed the rules and started turning away anyone with active allergies. That’s pretty much every day. It kills me. Because I’m O- and I know they always need my type.
@nannyogg63 of all the dozens of questions I have to answer in order to give blood, there are none about allergies, but there are plenty of medications that can get someone rejected. Perhaps check the new requirements and see whether you would be eligible. https://www.redcrossblood.org/donate-blood/how-to-donate/eligibility-requirements.html
@cassandra17lina Canadian requirements are different. It’s not the Red Cross that runs it here - they lost that many years ago. Last time I went, I was rejected because I sneezed. I was prob allergic to someone’s perfume. I can’t control that.
Hey Krista,
I’m a 50-time donor and a volunteer at our local full-time clinic. I have a fear someone misinterpreted or miscommunicated something to you. I don’t know any common allergies that preclude you from donating; it is possible some meds are on the list (most are not). Canadian Blood Services has an AMAZING web site. You can look up conditions/medications in their lists to see if you’re precluded.
Since you’re type O you’re in VERY high demand! 😁
@Luber905 @cassandra17lina I see it says allergies are fine as “long as you are feeling well”. That’s a matter of interpretation and I NEVER want the embarrassment of being turned away ever again. Maybe I’ll try again. But if it doesn’t work, I’m not going back.
@Luber905 @cassandra17lina Plus I’m dealing with low iron at the moment so it would be a while before I could even try.
@nannyogg63 Whether or not you decide to give blood in the future, I wanted to pass this along to you. I’ve been looking for ways to maintain my iron, and found that Cream of Rice cereal supplies 70% of the recommended daily amount of iron. It’s also gluten free. I use it in place of grits in shrimp and grits in addition to breakfast food. Good luck whatever lies ahead for you.
@cassandra17lina thanks! We are hoping this is temporary. I had surgery in November and this might be a side effect.
@nannyogg63 Hope you are on the mend! For what it’s worth, now that I’m in my late 60s, it takes considerably more effort on my part to maintain my iron levels to enable me to donate blood every two months.
@cassandra17lina some of us understand ♥️