Soooo I have maybe not such a positive question for this Thanksgiving however something has risen that has been an issue for a very long time.
Anywho, my question is :
Is there anyone who has someone else in their life which they detest so badly for the experiences they have had with them that even just hearing their voice for one second will set your anger and vocal levels off to a million? If so how do you cope or how have you learned to not lose it?
Yes, two. I disowned one about 25 years ago. I've only seen them once, briefly, since. Another I haven't seen in 15 years.
Both were abusive physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. So cutting them off was a necessity. But, I understand not everyone has that option.
@Agatha I had the same and disconnected from my entire family because of it. it has been around 20 years now however my daughter got herself evolved with them against me telling her precautions and now she is finding out the hard way about their controlling /narc way and my grandchildren are in the middle of it and one is getting negative lashing out behaviors. I may have to step in at some point again however I really can not control myself when I hear even a simple hello from my own mother.
It's hard when kids don't understand or really take your experiences to heart. I protected my son from the negatives of his dad's side. He knew about my side. But now he associates more with his dad and that side. But, he's 30. He has to make his own choices.
I'm sorry your grandkids are stuck in the middle. I hope your daughter can extricate herself. She can if you're there to help, I'm sure. If she's stubborn, you stepping in may cause her to dig in her heels. You know her best.
@Agatha Well my daughter learned and is kinda hating it bc my mother stresses her and the kids however she is also stuck at times bc my parents live pretty much right near her and she sometimes has to use them to babysit even tho she is slowly trying to pull away. She lives to far for me to watch them at the moment bc she lives in pa and I am in mn.
@WhiteRose
My friend was in that situation. She needed her parent's, but they are toxic as hell. Thankfully her son is older now so she can distance herself a bit. But she had no other choice, unfortunately, and they knew it.