Thomas Kalmich
- Fan of
- Boston Celtics
- And of
- Christopher Hitchens
I was born in the USSR and grew up in an ex-soviet "republic". Want an honest opinion on communism from someone who's experienced it firsthand? Ask me.
Joined Nov 2022
Sure, keep talking to Alfred, speed up his transition to HALfred 9000 😈
Thomas Kalmich
boosted
Thomas Kalmich
boosted
The important thing to remember about this Bible verse is that Jesus is God made flesh. So, Jesus said that if a woman defends her husband, you should brutally hack off her hand.
What? You say that doesn't sound much like Jesus?
Yeah, I guess the other thing to consider is that maybe this book was written by a whole bunch of ordinary humans. And some of them were really dicks.
Thomas Kalmich
boosted
Elon Musk is helping Putin help Trump destabilize Western Democracy.
Too bad they’re gonna lose, because fascist nazi fu*ks always lose.
coufnsed
Thomas Kalmich
boosted
Every cat owner is required by law to enter into a contract with their cat in which the cat gets infinite love, care, attention, playtime, feeding, goodies, cuddles and is allowed to go on daily biting and scratching rampages, and you as the owner get a lifetime of free 3 AM wakeup calls.
Does the adult Happy Meal come with an adult toy
Are you getting ready for Easter like I'm getting ready for Easter? 😂
Her: I don't know how I'll be able to pay rent...
Him (unzips pants): I think I know a way.
All other Monopoly players: 👀 👀 👀
To save on a personal trainer go to a gym and incorrectly weight lift in front of gym dudes, then you’ll have your choice out of at least three gym dudes giving you detailed advise on how to lift correctly for free.
It’d like to remind everyone that when barcodes were invented, evangelists believed they were “of the devil” and if you came near one, Satan would crawl up your belly button or, if you’re a woman, up your vagina and impregnate you with the Antichrist, which would force them to face a very difficult choice regarding their pregnancy termination stance, and that is why the Hobby Lobby has no barcodes or exit scanners to this day.
You develop an instant global consciousness... an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it.
From out there on the Moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that, you son of a bitch."
- Edgar D. Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut
Episode 7 of LOU was such a plodder (again) that I speed-scrolled through most of it to get to the 45-second good part.
Watching two teenage girls play mall rats and go on merry-go-round rides gave me Avatar 2 vibes from when I had to endure 12 hours of Jaques Cousteau Meets The Little Mermaid, Discovery Channel Weekend special, and those wounds haven’t healed yet.
Did you know there are mushrooms that you eat only one and for the rest of your life you are never hungry anymore
Thomas Kalmich
- Fan of
- Boston Celtics
- And of
- Christopher Hitchens
I was born in the USSR and grew up in an ex-soviet "republic". Want an honest opinion on communism from someone who's experienced it firsthand? Ask me.
Joined Nov 2022