Oh, CoSo, it's been a time.
For the past few years, since my mom passed, I have an anxiety issue. I'm okay most of the time, but my reaction to things can be more intense than warranted.
I mentioned last week that we had some baseboards repaired. The electrician found burnt wires behind the thermostat. What I haven't mentioned is that I found a soot mark elsewhere in the house.
1/?
While we were waiting for electricians to get back to us, I went to use the elliptical machine in the garage. I plug it in and nothing. I try another outlet and still nothing.
Instead of a reasoned response, like trying something else in the outlets and ruling out the elliptical, I had a full blown panic attack. My body was reacting as though I was about to lose my house and my cats. My husband was on his way to donate platelets, and as the feminism looked on in shame, I called him.
2/?
He told me to try something else in the outlets, which worked fine. It was too cold in the garage for the elliptical machine. But holy hell, I think it took 2 days to calm down.
Electrician stopped by today and the soot mark was from a draft blowing dust behind the plate. He assured us everything is working as it should. And he didn't charge us. Don't know if it's because knows my uncle or he felt bad that my husband and I don't know anything about wiring.
3/?
But seriously, the knot in my chest is noticeably looser. ❤️
The human brain continues to amaze/frustrate me.
4/4
@Kurtroedeger @evamarie @tyghebright @TomeReader
Whatever doesn't kill me had better head for the fucking HILLS.
@Kurtroedeger @evamarie @tyghebright @TomeReader
"Whatever you do, don't kick him in the balls."
"What? I thought there weren't any rules!"
"There aren't. But he'll take it PERSONALLY."
— X-Men
@tyghebright
Thanks. I'm definitely a work in progress at the moment. 😁
This is why I want to throttle the folks who demand that everyone be constantly on edge about how doomed everyone is going to be some unspecified time in the future.
"DON'T LOOK AWAY!"
"I sure won't, I'd hate to miss your FACE."
@TomeReader Grief shows up in so many ways. Be gentle with yourself. 💜🫂
@TomeReader
It took me several years to recognize my hypervigilance and anxiety for what they were. We experience trauma and loss, and our brains start interpreting every small bump in the road as a major threat.
I hope you find good coping mechanisms.