New comic! Wherein Cord weighs in on Godzilla Minus One. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

As a resident of the Midwest, I know autumn as "first winter."

My latest comic. Wherein Cord and Sock bid farewell to summer. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Trying way too hard to think of a passable social media joke at 4:00 PM on a holiday is very much my brand.

From exactly two years ago. Wherein Cord is vindicated. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Multitask? I can't even task.

Just added “Aeon Flux with upset stomach = Aeon Reflux” to my Word doc of potential comic ideas, thereby fulfilling my creativity quota for the long weekend.

The first time I saw X-Men vs. Street Fighter in a grocery store arcade, it took about three seconds for my reaction to go from "That looks like the stupidest shit ever" to "I must play that in order to feel complete."

Can I admit to being generally indifferent toward Halloween without becoming the unwitting protagonist in a horror movie about the importance of showing reverence for said holiday?

Me: *feels unloved, unwanted, and generally rejected by the word at large*

Also me: *continues to use the social media platform that facilitated these feelings*

(It's not this one!)

Have now reached the “terrified of my own footsteps” stage of excessive horror movie consumption.

If you're turned into a vampire after hitting middle age, what's even the point?

The fact that The Equalizer 3 isn't called The 3qualizer is unquestionably the biggest oversight in Hollywood history.

The first person who shitposted while taking a shit officially won wordplay.

“Well, this day is literally unsalvageable.”
- Me experiencing an extremely minor inconvenience

In elementary school, I had a friend who hung a Freddy Krueger poster directly above his bed, and to this day, I have no idea what would possess someone to tempt fate so brazenly.

Nasal drip? You mean my eternal state of being?

My latest comic. Wherein Cord sizes up a former president. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

'Hoarders,' but for people with an obscene number of email addresses.

Pretty sure I’ve gotten more shit for masking and taking other common sense measures against COVID than anyone in the “no compliance” crowd has gotten for ensuring that the pandemic continues in perpetuity.