FIVE INCHES IS THE GLOBAL AVERAGE, BRENDA

Having my first ice cold beer in years. Went with Blue Moon. Pairs quite nicely with this sushi that I left out in the sun by accident.

I should tell time by the sun more.

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The best white male privilege is falconry. It's cool as hell, we get free falcons. Sorry about hegemony and all but my falcon game is sizable.

As a guy who's been in dozens of bicycle crashes without a helmet, I feel it's my duty to say to you: raspberry notebook bing-bong kazoos

It makes me pretty happy that bears actually love honey. They'll just jam their faces into a bunch of bees, they like it so much. I was watching this video and that bear was eating honey off his hand, bees and all. You gotta LOVE honey to eat bees, man.

9. You can fit 9 cats inside an acoustic guitar.

Elon Musk's twat is so swampy not even Ducks Unlimited will touch it.

You guys are getting sunlight?

This is so fucking funny

.

I wish every

ELON MUSK'S JUGULAR VEIN

a very

.

So.. is there a Mrs. X Æ A-12?

Breaking up is so hard when you're still in love with their pets

Homie over here tryina sell me guns.