And yeah I did it I need the money

Someone just randomly Venmo'd me $20 for "elbow pics".

.

Anyway, Elon Musk is a piece of shit, goodnight.

🎶hello joint pain my old friend
I've come to writhe with you again~

Crap, ate a bunch of candy before bedtime and now I'm gonna be up all night with the sillies

God damn, grandma, chill with the cookies I'm still working on my Halloween candy

Thanks Tammy.

Not to sound racist but all Oriental rugs look the same to me.

I'll torrent shit I don't even want I just love stealing

IYKYK

Blessed are those who still seed 8 year old torrents. 😌🙏

What would you do if you had 5 months to live and no money?

Holy shit can we just spell it 'omlet'.

Twitter is a great place to see just the shittiest takes imaginable.

I... I don't even know where to start with this one. This is the stupidest person I'll see all week.

Just learned Frank Zappa named one of his kids Dweezil. That's a cat's name at best. Sounds like a pokemon.

People are mad we traded a basketball player for an arms dealer, as if terrorists were having a hard time getting guns without him.

In solidarity with the New York Times Union strike I will also not be doing anything today.